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So in highschool i was being bullied, then because of this i try joining with the bullies so that i don’t get bullied. Then i thought they would stop bullying me but it doesn’t help me avoid being bullied. I also thought that maybe i will enjoy my highschool being not me and true to me so that they could enjoy but i was too selfless at that time that i don’t think i deserve to treat myself better. I was this guy who just always goes in the flow no matter what the F happens and i fcking hate it. Not doing what i want to do, being stuck in this stupid shit that i got thru and i hate it. 4 yrs after, I just feel fcking not alright because i always feel like those times just happened like yesterday and i always go to this deep hole of fcking resentment, I’m aware that im in that position but i don’t always take that initiative to go out that hell hole. I just want to freaking get this emotions out of my whole soul because i don’t knkw what to do so i reach out to this website because im afraid to open this up to my highschool friends and families because I’m traumatized about them judging my experience… Thank you if anyone reads this

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Anonymous

Hey. Don’t worry I’m here for you. I can understand how traumatising this could be for you. But remember who you truly are and be that person. Because if you’re trying to be someone else to fit in, you might be successful. You might even enjoy it, but you wont be able to make it last long. Because that’s not who you’re. And you seem like an amazing person. You don’t have to fit in to get friends. People who truly and deeply love you and care about you will be there for you no matter what, remember that. It’s extremely toxic for you, the space you’ve held yourself in. I’m glad you’re aware of it. Just push a lil more and come out of it. Trust me you’ll feel lighter and much better!!
I hope I could help :)

i know how you feel. I’m 17, still in high school, but 4 years ago I was at a different school, a kindy-year 12 place I literally call The Hellhole (ironic because it was a Christian school) and I was a bully to stay on the good side of the bullies. Eventually I got my karma, it came back at me with 3x the force. I’m still scared physically and psychologically from this. I have PTSD from bullying and I hate that because it makes me feel weak and pathetic. But it’s not and I know that. There’s this story/saying, it goes like “two dogs walk through a puddle of mud and emerge on the other side. One dog, a small puppy, was covered up to his neck. The other was taller, and it only reached half way up it’s arms. How deep was the mud? Depends on who you ask.” It doesn’t matter how bad the problem was, what matters is that it hurt you, and you’ve gotta heal. I don’t know how to do that, I still feel guilt with each day and pain with each night, but I know one day I’ll get through it and be better. And I know you will be OK too. You’re strong, you’re a soldier. If you wanna talk more I’d be happy to, and equally if this didn’t help at all, sorry! Have a good day/night anyway where ever you are. Go easy on yourself, treat yourself like you’re your BFF :) good luck. I wish you a smooth ride and a healed soul

sxkurxchxn

Hey… So I may not complete know how you feel… because the way girls get bullied is way different so I never felt what you felt but I will still try and help out as much as I can…

1- I say try to stand up for yourself, If they say something to you reply with kindness… because I feel like bullies just want the satisfaction of seeing you hurt… If you look like it doesn’t effect you they will probably stop… if they don’t you should definitely try telling a teacher… and also ask her to not make it too public…

2- I know you said you’re afraid to open up… but It’s always better to try telling a close friend of yours how you feel… even if it isn’t your family who you tell this about… it’s fine… just any one close friend… that way that friend can help you overcome it