Home / Thoughts / So im a girl and i like girls but I hate myself f...
leelia

So im a girl and i like girls but I hate myself for it and I don’t think I will ever be able to accept it. I’ve known for years but nobody knows and I can’t tell anyone I don’t care whether they are fine with it or not cuz ill hate myself for it either way. I just don’t know what to do i really wanted to just be straight but even if i tried my feelings haven’t changed but i don’t want to live like this, what am i supposed to do? I’m actually in love with a girl right now but she’s in another city right now and i regret not telling her my feelings bc i didn’t want to accept them, and not even that, i just regret not allowing myself to be happy when i was with her bc all i was thinking about was that i loved her and i couldn’t be happy bc that was wrong, tbh if I could go back time, even if i want to change things it would probably be the same I would still be too afraid and i would still hate myself cuz i still do. I don’t think i can ever accept it or say it to anyone but i also don’t want to live keeping it a secret forever but i have to i would never forgive myself if i didnt

4 Comments

Dear User, for your own safety, we urge you to NOT share any personal information [email, phone number, social media handles, address etc.] with other Now&Me users.

Post anonymously?
Anonymous

Hello dear! It is okay to take time to come in terms with yourself, it is not easy as it seems. But remember one thing this is you, what you feel comes from you…it is that your heart has accepted you for who you are but it is your brain that is overthinking. It can be overwhelming to come out of the closet. People who really love and care about you will always love you no matter what you do or who you love. Before expecting people to accept you, you have to accept and love yourself for who you are. You have only one life, do you wanna think about other things which you think are better that can happen…and at the end regret not living life to the fullest? First try to come to terms with yourself and then whoever that person you love is go for them…NEVER regret your life or your life choices…be happy and make memories
Cheers to you and your life!!!

leelia

thank youu, i mean you’re right i just can’t help hating myself and it is bc of that that i can’t tell anyone bc I’m not confident in who i am. Since i don’t think i can change bc i tried but it didn’t seem to work i guess the best i can do it’s just accept it if i want to be happy, it’s just that i grew up in a really homophobic environment and i was really homophobic as well so to find out i liked girls was really hard for me, i hope someday i can accept myself and i hope i don’t disappoint anyone. Thanks for the advice and for listening and being so nice!

Anonymous

It’s good that you have come up & you accept what you feel.
It’s actually very nice of you to have feelings for someone. There’s nothing bad in telling them.
It’s their choice that how they deal with it.
But at last you would be at your satisfaction.
Always remember you can love someone but you can’t make them love you back.
Cheer up girl.
I am just a text away if you wanna talk.

daisyblah

Hey my budd. I see where you are coming from I’m a lesbian too. Like I didn’t struggle much about it because nobody told me i am supposed to like boys and not girls🤣. After when i found out i was also in a phase like no it can’t happen to me. I looked at it like it’s a disease.

Then i looked at the facts like okay. Why is this so bad in some people’s eyes
1. I don’t think this is mentioned in any religious book that homosexuality is a sin even in bible it was added afterwards there wasn’t even the term homosexuality when it was originally created
2. Some sculpture from Hindu sabhyata also shows homosexual couples
3. Some people say it’s not natural like what’s nature. We learn from animals okay. Let’s take there examples because they are nature na. So there are so many species in animals who shows homosexuality. Some scientists believe that it’s because like to decrease population. Penguins are the famous example of homosexuality in animals. They even adopt abandoned penguin childs dude
4. People just don’t understand it and this is why they be like no you can’t do that.

Now my girl why are you hating yourself dude i tried being with guys and for heaven’s sake it sucks like no offense but I can’t.
My parents are very Orthodox all the people around me mostly are. But why should i deprive myself from the sheer happiness of this world LOVE. because that’s the whole point of living. Dude we can die anyday. Why stop ourselves from the happiness we deserve.
And about other people. Everyone will die eventually and no one would remember it.
I’m using lot of deaths 😅 but it’s too tell you that how short life is to not tell someone how you feel for them.

See in big broad letters

YOU ARE VALID. IT’S NOT A SIN. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE GAY . IT’S ALRIGHT. I’M THERE WITH YOU.

I would love to talk to you about it as an experienced but closeted gay person if you want to. Lots of love to you
Btw i also have a girlfriend like living so far and i knew that if i didn’t make this gorgeous mine i would regret it forever.
So do tell me if you wanna talk. I’ll answer more questions for you