So I while back an Early College High School I applied for accepted me but I declined the offer because band is my passion and what my career choice is but I’m questioning if it was the right thing to do

Close your eyes and choose what your heart aches for

Career

Y is postpartum period so boring 🥺

Lonely

Feeling low😞

Frustration

What's u all upto now ?? 

3am Thoughts

I I am so confusion frustrated I don't know what is wrong with me sometimes I think I am okay but at the same moment I feel I'm not at all good . I can't sleep at night I can't focus on anything I can't study it's not like I don't want to just that I can't whenever I try to do it or whenever tie to do anything else I don't know why I feel so lazy. I can't communicate with people. I don't even know why I feel so uncomfortable in my college specially in front of my teachers I know they not gonna eat me but still I think it is because I was a kid I was mentally tortured by them.. I don't know why i feel like crying all of a sudden and I feel numb all of a sudden too.. I have a lot to speak but I don't have anyone to listen to my thoughts listen to my feelings listen to what I am going through.. I tried any heart to tell things to my parents I know they love me but don't know if they will believe me or not what if they will think it's just a phase for me and i will overcome through it... I feel like a loser I haven't achieved anything in my life I am 19 and I don't know what I am doing all this years neither I am good in sports neither in studies or in anything else I'm not that much pretty too and because of that I have lost and lot of opportunities in my life our teachers always used to prefer beautiful girls over me and because of that I lost all my confidence and my childhood only and now I am nothing just looser with lots and lots of regrets.. I don't know how to fight for myself but I swear I try very hard each day every day somehow I keep on fighting for myself I don't know why people can understand me.. no one understand me not even my friends.. I went through a lot of things actually I am going through things but I don't want to speak about it because when I did people thought that I am an attention seeker who wants to seek attention from others.. once I got an anxiety attack in my college all of a sudden due to some reason and I really didn't wanted to call my parents because  the last thing that I want is to make my parents upset because of me..they are already doing so much for me to be honest I was really scared what if they thought that i all i am doing is a drama but I swear it wasn't a drama I really didn't know what happened with me but now when I think about it had happened with me earlier too...is it too hard to believe me...i don't want anyone's attention...i am fine being all alone...i just want the old confident me back...who was killed by the teachers my classmate my bullies and all those people who were quiet all the time...i never become friends with anyone for any purpose and all...then why do other people do that with me...i can't forget anything that happened with me i can't forget anything those memories haunt me...i don't want to die as a looser i am scared of becoming a looser...sometime i think death is a better option for me it's better to be dead instead of being a loser...but i want to live not for me but my parents..i don't care if they believe in me or not but i love them..i am tired.

Anxiety

I am so pissed off and so Im gonna rant here about this psycho ex-boyfriend of mine. I just blocked him today. But what is driving me up the fucking wall is how psycho he is. We were already in the process of breaking up, and we were just talking about how we felt and he said "I basically got over it in 5 days". I told him thats not very cool, it takes me months to get over peope, and that the only time I get over someone that fast is because I never loved them in the first place. He says normal people get over things quickly because he read it on a pyscholgoy article, that 1 year together = 1 month of getting over it, and he started calcuating it!! Hes like "So half a year together means one would need 2 weeks to get over it, and we were together for 5 months so thats like 1 week and a half.. If you think I should spend more than that amount of time sad over you, you obviously dont validate or care about my feelings" and then I completely lost it. I started screaming and crying telling him that he's insane and how tf did he come up with the conclusion that I didnt care?? I hung up and text him all this shit about how hes insane, has no emotional intelligence, cant be real, cant connect to people, everything he does is like a guilt trip for me! He also constantly tells me I need to go see a doctor because he worries about MY mental health.. And he said I was the one with the problem because I get mad over nothing, and then I blocked him. Im very tired. I dealt with a guy just like this a few years back, the only way I got rid of him was by completely ignoring him.. I cant deal with toxic shit no more man. Anyways, sorry for the long rant. 

Long Distance Relationship

Is it wrong to crave for cuddles, kisses, hugs, love because i haven't had any chance to do any of it 

Humans are way more than they can handle


i feel so bad for me , because i cannot express and say what i really feeling. the person i loved the most now saying he is confused abt us,i tried every time to save our relation but now finally its not working i really feel like crying and i m ashamed of it i dont know what to say , idk what i have to do now,i m in the phase of i cant live without him,i m very much in love with him that everytime i fell in love with him and while i m typing this i feel like crying.i cant help myself.so i searched website to express my feeling😢😢

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts