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Anonymous

So I don’t know how to tell this…I’m a 19 yo bi curious guy from bangalore…I have been in constant conflict with my own mind for almost a year now. Today I finally got the courage to go meet a guy I matched today on tinder…I know I shouldn’t have . He invited me to his place and I went like an idiot.Even though it was pretty far from my place I still went there.I hate myself for going .The person looked very much different from his pictures.He closed the door and started doing things which I did not consent for.So he started biting me.I told him several times that I am not into it. I literally begged him to stop and then he abused me sexually .I never even imagined that this could happen to me.I tried my best to escape and I quickly did.Now I am in extreme pain.I hate myself so much. I have never felt this terrible. I came back home immediately from his place. I don’t know what to do. I have reported the person on the app. I can’t tell my parents about this .I don’t know how to handle this without telling my parents. Right now it is the worst situation to tell them this.I cannot talk to anyone about this. My friends think I am straight and I was trying to explore my sexuality.I hate myself for letting this happen to me.I feel extremely hurt both mentally and physically.I do want him to be punished but I cannot let people know about this especially my parents.I feel like wanting to kill myself .I won’t harm myself but I feel like sinking.I feel frustrated ,angry ,hate myself, I can’t even cry.I feel mixed emotions and heart heavy.I don’t know how to approach a therapist or the police without letting my parents know.I want to tell this to them but I cannot tell anything right now.I want to report this but I can’t gather the courage to.Acctually I don’t even know if I want to do anything at all.I cannot deal with any of this. I tried to sleep I could not .I feel so much a and also feel numb at the same time.I just don’t know anything now

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Anonymous

A warm hug to you. I know this won’t be enough for the heaviness you are carrying right now, but feel free to talk.
I have faced sexual assault and the last thing was to tell my parents about it… Though it took a turn…
You should not feel bad about what you sexuality is. Though you should open up to your best friend, if he/she is really one hell of a friend as a friend should be, they will support you.
I can’t suggest you extravagant words about ‘tell your parents, they are you parents, they will understand’ because I faced the opposite but for you I can say, take a step.
Walk up to the police station and file a FIR.
Why am I saying this? - he is on tinder, he might have been doing this to many people who can’t speak up.

Anonymous

I definately do not have the courage to do this and as you just said telling parents could be the last thing to do. I cannot do it. Firstly I hate myself for not being able to defend myself.I feel like I am sinking . Right now I don’t even think I can think of doing it. I feel ashamed and tge fear and pain is making feel like shit.I feel absolutely disgusted. I am literally in tears . I can not do anything . I feel helpless all I want to do is forget this or just go back in time and change my decesion of going there.

Anonymous

If we got a chance about rewinding the time, there woukd be so many more happy moments. But we can’t right ?
I can’t say you sweetened words, the reality is hard. The immense embarrassment, anger, sadness, depression, hopelessness and so many more you are facing right now is tremendous.
What I can say is , it will take time, may be a little too long but you will have to be strong. I would not bring up the excuse of how family is important. In your life, you are the protagonist.
Maybe you will cry a bit too much, you will think of the second option but the second option will bring more destruction . You have nothing to be disgusted, when I was raped ( I am saying it too straightforward because I feel I should, at least to you) I told someone about it, very close to me, so that I could be saved. What did I get in return? ‘You are a girl, if anyone heard of this you will be shunned’ ‘keep it quite’ ‘everyone goes through it at some point’ I was 6 years old.
I have felt digusted, devasted , I have drowned with so much heaviness because it happened again and again.
Why am I saying you this.
It can be painful, so much that it can chew you alive but you have a life ahead.
For now, give yourself time to heal, take an online therapy, nobody has to know and some even have low charge- if you are thinking you have to tell your parents about it because of the price.
Don’t sink to end. Don’t ignite your suffering, it will burn more. Take time, know you were not the wrong one. You were never wrong. Maybe it will hurt a bit too much, but don’t drown.

Anonymous

i just wanna say that it isn’t your fault and you shouldn’t feel “stupid” about it. He was the one who was catfishing you and didn’t respect your feelings. Life just gave you a lesson from which you can learn and grow from. I get that you can’t talk to your parents, try talking to people who you can actually trust. Don’t hate yourself for being a human. Talking to even a one single person would help significantly. You have to gather the courage to deal with it now. It might later develop into trauma. It’s ok to be confused when you’ve gone through such a horrible thing. i hope you heal and grow in a healthy way and i hope that monster gets what he deserves.

Anonymous

I am proud that u found the courage to share this experience with us. Be brave buddy

Anonymous

Hear me out I’m 19 too I’m bi too and I feel like the same even I tried some apps to explore myself but uk most of them there was like pervert they need sex and uk like widout asking lot of people sent their nude Ik what u going through I also have urges sometimes to meet someone go to their place but I fear if people come to knw ABT that and that’s the worst but the way he treated u it’s bad I’m not asking to file a case coz ik how is it being in closet and u did ryt reporting him and uk try to cope up wid this and ik u would be having a feeling like y this happened it happens coz this world is full of perverts and u wasn’t wrong in anyway and if it’s okay then try to share wid parents or even wid someone whom uk or u can tell me how u feel at every point of time I’m here I would have connected wid u on social media but ig it’s not appropriate to share here

Anonymous

And genuinely I feel like hugging 🥺 and I want to break his teeths do not worry yrr

gayandproud

hey there buddy. Firstly you need to know none of it was your fault,
figuring out your sexuality- normal
going on dating sites- normal
trusting someone enough to meet them- abso-fucking-lutely normal
if it’s anyone’s fault it’s his, in a normal circumstance you shouldn’t have to be able to defend yourself and same applies here.
I have never been sexually abused so I might not have the best advice but I can tell you this gather up the courage I know you have in you and approach a friend or parent figure (if not parents) about this because you shouldn’t be facing this alone. I know going to the police might not be the most ideal in your situation but you can maybe mail tinder about this user and tell them to ban them from making another account. As for therapist you can find quite a few online, if you are above the age of 18 you don’t even require a parent/ guardian and the therapist will be discreet about your case.
You are much much braver and stronger then you think and you will get through it.
All you my love and support to you. Take care of yourself for me