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Anonymous

So I am in a on and off kinda relationship with a guy for over a year now. We broke up the first time due to my family issues. But then we got back together. But then again there were such circumstances that I had no choice but to break up with him. Then again after a month or two he texts me saying he misses me and stuff. You know, this guy is kind of a person who kind of hooks up with girls when bored but I’m such a person who wants a loyal relationship with you know an old school type of romance (ik u may be thinking what a backward thinking girl yaar but that’s who I am). Since our perspectives don’t match how can I be with him and he keeps chasing me. Maybe I love him and maybe not. But I still think about him a lot. I’m really confused. Anyone has any suggestions?

14 Comments
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s

Hey!
The first and the foremost thing you should consider and ask yourself is “Does he waits for me or wants me his whole life despite his hookups when he breaks up with me?” or “does he really want my kind of girl?”. If the answer is YES, give him a chance and ask and tell him what makes him do hookups in between and what makes him wait for you for such a long time.

Also, old school romance is not outdated but a fun thing. A loyal relationship is something everyone wants and everybody has their own kind of romantic fantasies and there is no right and wrong but it depends that you are ready to adjust to different thinking or want a like-minded person.

Thinking about someone shouldn’t be a decision for being with him, because you had a past with him so it’s obvious you will think about it but what is more important is how do you picture yourself with him in future and will you be happy and try to work out things with him!💜

Anonymous

Hey!
I’ve asked many times myself and not only myself but even him. Whenever I tried talking about this to him he would just avoid it and try to change the subject. And from this I can understand only one thing that he is not looking for a future. But then there’s this side where he plans a future with me and talks me about the things when we will be married. This type of contradicting hints confuses me!! And also I asked him about the reasons for hookups in between, he tells that when he is really frustrated and stressed out, he uses the hookups to release the tension. But I think that’s no reason to hookup with someone when you are saying that you love me and I think that person should stick and wait for me instead of fucking some other girl. And that’s the main reason I broke up with him. And I think I did the right thing.
Thank you 😊

s

I too believe you did the right thing. It will make him realize things if he actually loved you and wanted to have a future with you.

I hope you are happy even if it makes you feel sad about the whole situation. You will overcome this.😀

Anonymous

That’s the hope! And thank you so much for supporting me.😊

s

💜

sxkurxchxn

I say you should cut him off-
You should explain why properly, block him everywhere or just simply ask him to not contact you since you don’t want a relationship like this.
The reason I say this is because relationships like these are never good the guy clearly doesn’t like you much and just wants to get back with you for fun or whatever. You deserve better. Anyway at the end of the day it is your decision
Have a nice day!!

Anonymous

I have already done exactly the same thing! But he then texts me from his friends’ accounts or try in some other way to get in touch with me. If he doesn’t love me that much then why is he making so much efforts to try to get back with me, talk to me. Even I don’t want to go back to him but then all this makes me miss him more when I try to forget him.

sxkurxchxn

Since he’s texting you from other accounts as well the moment you read the message where he says it’s him immediately block him
I understand it’s hard to just keep blocking someone… but that’s really the only thing you can do.
Also I think you should try talking to one of your friends or your parents because they could help you make him stop.
Try this and let me know how it goes!

k

Hi dear girl,
Desiring a loyal relation is never a backward thinking
It is a rational way to think…
Heart is heart
Emotions are emotions
Feelings are feelings
Nothing of this is a toy or a joke …
Your post indicates you are very sensitive n emotional person…
So pls keep one thing always in ur mind
Never ever let anyone take you for granted…
From whatever you have described in your post n response
I am extremely sorry to state this
But my dear you DESERVE BETTER…
Rest it is your heart that knows everything
Relations have to be based on
1.Mutual love
2.Mutual respect
3.Mutual trust
Do you find these in your relation???
Ask urself
Ask ur heart…
Love they say is blind
But pls just try to take out that blindfold n try judging
Let both ur heart n mind take the call
N not just heart…
You will have to decide very calmly after considering everything
Is your life better without him
Or with him

Once you have made a wellthought decision
Just stick to it…
Let it be a sort of final decision
An unwavering decision…
He will make attempts
You will also miss him
All this will happen
But dear you will have to have a very firm stand…
You will have to be very very strong…

I wish the best for you…
N i am extremely sorry if you have found any of my words hurtful or bitter…
God bless…
Take care…
.
Your life your emotions are all very very precious
Invest it on the best person…
You deserve all the happiness.

More power,light n strength to you.

k

Dear u know what in real life opposites dnt attract…
Opposites make relation very suffocating n complex…
It isnot that his perspective is right or urs is right
It is not about right or wrong
But since thoughts dnt match
Since there are so many differences in views
You both arenot right for eachother…
Because it will make things complex.

If possible just try to explain him this…

U know in relationship
Sometimes parting ways
Brings peace to both the ppl involved as they werenot meant to be
Not like-minded.

Thank you.

Anonymous

Thankyou so much @kusum for your empowering words. I really feel good about myself after reading your point of view. And yes I am indeed a very sensitive and emotional person. Thank you for giving me a fresh perspective on this to think upon!

Anonymous

@kusum I totally agree with your thought that opposites makes the relationship suffocating. Yes I believe opposites attracts, we as humans are always attracted towards what we don’t have and we find fascinating, be it materialistic things or qualities. But we think of seeing of a future together we need someone who holds same indepth beliefs like us…two people might have different habits but if their core beliefs are same that relationship with work. But if core beliefs of people are totally opposite then that relationship would face a constant struggle to survive.

k

Yes dear you are absolutely right.
Good luck you…
May you be blessed with immense strength.
Best wishes.
Take care of urself.
Keep smiling keep shining.

Anonymous

Hi,
Wanting a loyal relationship can never be a backward thinking. People now a days are so much involved into flings and casual relationship that they forget that having a loyal partner is such a big blessings and no other thing can complete that. From what you said I would suggest please be upfront with him regarding if he wants future with you or not. You guys may have different prerprective towards life but if you wants each other and see future together that is what matters at the end. But if you think he chases you just coz at that point of time he does not have anyone else to hookup with I would say don’t think about that guy. Since you believe in old school romance thinking out a guy who comes to you when he has no where else to go, will only gonna hurt you. And also thinking about someone all the time does not mean that you love them…it’s just maybe you love the memories related to that person. Coz I believe love survives when there are two people fully committed to it. One sided love is always painfull.