So I am a feminist and truly believe in equality and no gender roles. This guy I’ve been dating says he is one too, but his actions and words say otherwise. I tried talking to him about it, but he doesn’t seem to get my point. For example: I was like in the future we live together, who would do the household things? I was expecting an answer that it would be a shared responsibility and do it together or something along the lines. However his response was, “I’ll help out if you need me to”. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but this does not sound like someone that believes in equality and shared responsibilities. I brought this up with him, but he doesn’t seem go get my point. Am I over thinking?
Talk to him again and explain your viewpoint
Ashi jain @ashi13
Actually I think u r Overthinking little bit… Talk to him make him understand ur point n if he can’t get this simple thing in his mind then I am sorry girl he is not the one n not worthy to keep
Breakup over this seems far fetched. OP should talk about this. Its a managable thing. He can change.
Ashi jain @ashi13
Ya same I am saying if he can’t get that small point then…
Chris @boredaf123
There are simple ways to communicate this imo. Lets focus on convincing him rather than thinking about what if he doesnt understand. Just ask him to do all household chores for 2 days. No slacking and outsourcing to third parties to work on his behalf. Let him see the truth objectively and realise how hard it is to for women to go about it everyday. Im sure he will understand .
No my dear. You are not overthinking. However for this don’t ruin your relationship. Just hire a house help.
And all my married friends tell me that guys inherently don’t help out unless clearly told and asked what to do and how.
So you tell me what you want him to do and get on with things. I see my sisters also telling their husbands stuff.
Just don’t expect him to do house things on his own. That’s all.
It’s not about equality but common sense.
He maybe good at something’s that you are not. So look at alternatives and solutions.
However there maybe more things like job, kids, finances where you need to look for signs of equality and the respect and support you deserve.
You’re absolutely right. I even asked, if we have kids one day, who would look after the child, he’s answer was, the mom. Then I proceeded to ask him, would he help with bath time, changing diapers etc, and his response was, I rather not have kids then. Sounded very discouraging.
I don’t think the issue is equality here but respect and honouring for you as his partner.
You can always hore help for all these things but not for your relationship and he certainly can’t get away from his responsibilities in life.
You need to sit with yourself to know what are your top priorities in a relationship and what what are his.
If what you want out of life, out of a relationship doesn’t not match his top priorities then you guys are totally on different pages in life. You would need to then make a choice whether to stay together or go your separate ways.
Yes you’re overthinking
