So here is the thing. I have PTSD. People who know me know this but they don’t understand it or how it effects me or just have damn horrible it is. I don;t remember the majority of 2 whole years. Because something happened and I can’t fucking remember what. It scares the shit out of me, it literally keeps me awake at night, it’s why I stay up so late, hoping that one night I will just fall asleep without thinking of them or of what happened or without remembering. The last 2 night I had remembered things that i forgot about that were actually really important to me. This girl that i used to love; her mother was abusive, so was her dad and her mum’s boyfriend abused her too so she moved in with her dad. She tried to kill herself by the time she was 10. I know this because when she was 10 and I was 12 we compared methods of suicide. Luckily both failed. But I had forgotten that. Last night when I was trying to sleep I remembered that she had a bunk bed that time i went to her house, that she had a sister who was 19 and had moved out that she could run or get her mum’s boyfriend to leave because of the bunk bed. I remember I was terrified of her dad. It’s been 4 years since I last saw her. I’m scared to contact but I feel like I need to for my path to recovery but I don’t want to ruin hers for my own. I don’t know what to do but her name will always mean something different to me. Aside from that I remembered that I made shitty diary from the year I forgot. I think i only wrote maybe a month but hopefully it’ll say what I need. I don’t know if i’ll like what I read or if it’ll give me answers but I hope it will. I can’t stand to keep revisiting things my mind has only half remembered every time I close my eyes to sleep.
I read it. It only answered a few questions but left more. I wish I hadn’t read it. I remember how I felt and I wish that beast stayed in the dark.
Please someone let me know that I’m not crazy. that it gets better. because I’m scared
Heyyy buddy, first of all, what happened was terrible.
You’re definitely NOT crazy in thinking the way you are. I am so glad atleast you’re aware about PTSD. Are you receiving treatment for it?
Buddy, listen. I know what happened SUCKS and there’s nothing we can do about it. I know you care about that girl very much but we all have our own battles to fight and I promise you, she’ll only come out stronger.
I think you should contact her. Maybe she needs someone to vent too? Maybe if you checked up on her, she’ll feel better, even if it’s minutely?
Would you like to talk about it?
You need to know that IT GETS BETTER and that PTSD is very treatable.
Take careeee buddy, good times await :)
Thank you that means so much to me. I don’t have anyone i can talk to about this and I’m not getting any help. the therapists I’ve seen have all been awful to me. I’m trying to fight it on my own but it just gets harder. i think I’ll contact her. Just checking up on her hopefully won’t hurt. Thanks again for being so kind
I’m sorry to hear about those therapists, that’s awful. You know, the whole point of this platform is that people dont have to suffer alone. And you wont have to!! I’m RIGHT HERE for you, I promise. Ykw, if you ever wanna talk about anything that’s bothering you, day or night, you can always reply to this and I’ll be here. Sometimes strangers understand us better than we think we do :)
Please dont go through this alone. Talk it out, you’ll feel so much better. And KNOW that there are soooo many people going through the same thing. You’re not alone my friend :)
Take very good care of yourself, we’re all here for you :D
