So here is a situation. I had a dear friend, let’s call her T… we had a great bond… we were called “Jai and Veeru” by our class and teachers…Fast forward, in class 11 we were separated as we both had different subjects. our meetings lessened but were still there after school, during lunch breaks and before classes. she stopped replying to my messages and calls. I understood as classes can be hectic. it was all good till then. In 12th, she stopped going out for lunch too. she completely avoided me. no messages, no calls. she even refused our Sunday plans and talks. She had a new friend who used to live near her house. she started hanging out with her. One day I confronted her that why the hell are u behaving like this, why are u ignoring me?? She said that “It is not you, you are still there in my friend category, u are still on the list, the only thing is that someone else I got is better and has a position higher than u in my life, she is my soulmate.” I broke, I felt cheated. but eventually, I came to peace with that, I thought its ok, a friend is also not bad, her choice.
Then one day, when she cancelled our plan again to hang out with her new friends, I became angry and confronted her , to which she said, “compare yourself to X(her new bff) you shall know where u exist and where she is”. i don’t remember all she said… but that hurt me, that wound is still like a sore. After that we left school, barely talked once or twice and then out of touch… its 3.5 years since then, since we left class 12th and had our last talk.
I missed her a lot but I didn’t had that closure… so today three years later I just typed a closure sort of thing that sorry for my wrongs and thank you for being in my life for little time and sorry again… I got it off my chest and felt relived… but to my horror she texted back saying that she was sorry and she was wrong and I didn’t deserve this and she has changed and blah blah… I don’t know now what to reply to her…Like I convinced myself by great pain that I was wrong in some ways and I fucked up and now here is she taking blame! Its like being lured by the same swimming pool in which you drowned once… it is now new and shiny but you don’t know what to do. I am like, if she knew that, why didn’t she tried to make contact with me??
I feel out of words and paralysed… normally I am always very smart with people and words but today I feel total paralysed… what should I say to her?? what to reply?? shall I forgive and give her another chance? or does she really want a chance or is being just polite…fuck… I am an idiot…
To be honest, I have been in that girl’s (your ex-friend) position before but little different I have become careless about my friend due to my personal relationship which was toxic but I was not aware even she was also not aware but after my break up without my knowledge I dumped all my negativity to her because of that she became depressed and I also used to be little elegant she always asks me when I will change my attitude in certain things I also wanted a change but something always stopped me from being a little elegant and my friend said that I was toxic , ignorant and less elegant and so she said she doesn’t want to be associated with me it really pained me especially how ignorant and negative I was with her I broke her literally even till date I used to think I chance is all I want to prove myself but in reality, that incident actually changed me into a better person at least I became less negative and little more careful with the things around I am saying all these things because you ex friends confession maybe true with real concern but doesn’t mean you need to give her a chance if you feel uncomfortable or fear to accept her don’t do it and you reject politely by saying am happy that you are ware about it but we are in our own paths thank you for your time or if the feeling is vice versa you can give her chance either of decision will not make you bad infact to will give her deeper understanding of herself and to be better in future so its personally up to you
3.5 years?? That’s quiet a lot of time…which also shows that u r quite a sensitive person. May be that girl really changed or May be not…but still I would suggest you not to go with her again. It’s not because of who she is but because of who u r. If (a bigggg IF) she hurts you again in future then ….it may cause u more pain and again u may take a lot of time to handle yourself in such situation. So I guess u r better of without her.
I don’t know what you replied to her…but if u haven’t…then May be u can just end it on a kind note saying… “ It’s ok. I valued our friendship and genuinely cared for you as a friend. That’s one of the reason I messaged you after so many years. I understand ups and downs will be there always and we have our share of memories and lessons. I just want to wish you all the best and take care. You will be in my friends list for sure. Stay in touch. Bye”
The above one is just a sample. You can write ur own in ur own way. I was just being kind because at the end…I guess u won’t feel good if u hurt her back too. BUT don’t get close to her again…not good for u 🙂. Good luck
