Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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⚕️Depression

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DepressionThought

If you or somebody you know is currently struggling, please take deep breaths and reach out to somebody. Here are few resources that may help.
Profile picture for Now&Me member @xie

Xie @xie

Small warning—this is long and definitely not cheerful.
Every morning, I feel like I put on this mask of ‘I’m happy!’. I go to school and talk to my friends only to come home and feel myself revert back to…awful.
This is not because my family is bad or something, they’re the best. But at home I can shed one protective layer because, really, everyone’s thinking about something else.
Thoughts like, nothing matters, the worlds to f-ed up anyway, people are horrible, no one will remember you in the end, you’re horrible, worthless, and you’ll never find happiness, you’ll die alone, etc. When it gets bad, sometimes my thoughts are suicidal.
I’ll think “I know now these feelings are real, I’ll talk to my parents in the morning.”
But only to wake up with my mask on.
Cowardly, right?
I’ll convince myself I’m over those feelings, only to get them back.
I’ll never cry though. That raised questions and will make people think I’m over dramatic and I crave attention. That scares me most. I never want people to think I’m making these sick feelings up.
I HATE MYSELF already, so I might as well not hate me more for making people think I just want attention. That sickens me.
I JUST WANT HELP.
The worst part is I’m to fucking scared to ask for help, because what if I can’t be helped? Then my parents would know. Would they think, “Oh, my child’s going through something everyone goes through, they’ll be fine.” or “Does Xie want attention?”
If they do believe me, can they even help?

Profile picture for Now&Me member @rag17
Profile picture for Now&Me member @raj1403
Profile picture for Now&Me member @xie
9 replies
Profile picture for Now&Me member @rag17

rag @rag17

You can talk to me i will listen to you ,or do you have any trusted friends ukk talking helps just vent to a friend tell them your problems if you want solutions ask for it and if you feel distant with family seek comfort from strangers but don’t give in to those thoughts and most importantly please take care ❤️

Profile picture for Now&Me member @xie

Xie @xie

Thanks. I really apprecitate your comment and I will try. :)

Profile picture for Now&Me member @rag17

rag @rag17

Yess if you wanna talk about something I promise you I will listen

Profile picture for Now&Me member @xie

Xie @xie

So kind! Omg, I dunno why, but its so hard to find nice people like you at my school!

Profile picture for Now&Me member @rag17

rag @rag17

Search hard enough and you will

Profile picture for Now&Me member @raj1403

Raj Chauhan @raj1403

Yes please family loves u unconditionally. We need to express ourselves in right way. We need to be compassionate and show apathy to them too. It’s not easy life for them too … so please don’t hold back. Talk and get things happening towards a better tomorrow

Profile picture for Now&Me member @xie

Xie @xie

Thanks a ton. I’ll try to open up, this is the first step, right? : ) Have a great day.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @raj1403

Raj Chauhan @raj1403

The pleasure was all mine 😊

Profile picture for Now&Me member @xie

Xie @xie

If you want to talk to me, ever, I’ll try to respond and help. :) Have a nice day. Thx for listening

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