Since I am alone and away from family this new year for the first time. It's stressing me that I will be alone. I don't want it to be horrible as this weekend is taking a lot of me. I am feeling miserable. How do I celebrate it alone? 

If I would have, I would not have vented it here. I don't have anyone here... 

To khud enjoy kr na buddy... Jaha celebration ho rha hoga... Kya pta vaha terr dost ban jaye.. 

Friends ke sath buddy... Friends to hoge na.. 

I would say get yourself dressed up for a date with yourself! Decorate your room! Play your favourite music and watch some series that you can enjoy! 

Have your favourite food! Spend the day with yourself 

Depression

Is anyone's birthday tomorrow 
If yes then hello birthday twin😁🙋‍♀️

It's my birthday today and people whom i wished on their bday at 12 am and even sent cakes to their homes didn't even bother to wish me on my birthday today.

Feeling broken.

Mental Health

I hope nobody remembers my birthday

Life

Its my birthday day after tomorrow and i hate baarish. I don't want baarish to ruin my birthday....

Birthdays. They're really something huh.
We should cheerish them because those were the days we were born, that day is powerful itself. Is just nowadays to me it feels so... superficial. Fake. 
Maybe this is me just getting older and seeing more the bigger picture. I have valuable people in my life, and they often remind me how much they love me; not only on birthdays. I love them because they make my birthdays feel casual yet special, that joy it brings it's something not other date can do. 
And they I have the other side of the coin... the superficial part of birthdays; people who I do not want to talk or they appear just in special occasions like these come to my life again. Is overwhelming. Very. I have to keep my energy and social face intact because they do no harm, yet they do. It's exhausting, it absolutely angers me. People feel obligated to congratulate me and I hate that. 
The photos, the waste of money we barely have, the meaningless kisses and hugs... that part has no use, not when I'm surrounded by fake people. I'm grateful, I'm grateful to God for all it gives me. But I'm not gonna eat people's bullshit you know?
Birthdays as a child is such a wonderful thing. You don't worry about the money or the people around you, you eat and play with others. It's wonderful, and everyday I hope everyone can experience that. Simple life.
It's hard getting through this day, life is like that I guess. I hope when I get older I get to experience it as a simple day, only surrounded by people I love and they appreciate my being. For now I have to endure it, just think and enjoy the good parts and work hard to make these days more special and not a burden anymore; for myself. DAMN I deserve it, this is my birthday wish. Happy birthday to me, let's wish and work harder angel!

Self Esteem

SEPTEMBERS ARE ALWAYS WORSE

Here it comes my birth month again always bringing in some new challenge with something to bother me, something that i would have to fight my way through just like that difficult level of that arcade game that i play calm down these anxious nerves, guess every September is the same, I’ll have to keep trying and trying again  till i crack the code for this particular level. Ever since i gained senses the beginning’s always been hard to this particular month, every single time something happens that would shatter the worldview of this little kid and then comes the birthday somewhere in the middle of this month, Damn i hate that day, faking my smile again on that day bcos people want me to be either way i am shattered from the inside, Just like that broken glass window that i broke when hitting that perfect free kick on the last day of august, It didn’t got fixed until the end of the month or till the rain hits, had just a few cracks to be bothered by anyone else still it was just fine like any other glass windows, anyways from inside it seemed to work just as fine as other glass windows, maybe it did try its best to fit in, although sometimes raindrops leak in or that other time when some rodents came in through that window, god they really stinged bad when i slept, Can’t sleep well because a broken window wasn’t fixed anyways finally it was way too much and now that broken really bothered my view of the outside and it’s time it should get fixed and here comes bright little sunshine of the October month waking me up on a pleasant morning to start a bright day.

As J Cole once said "I don't know about freedom, I just want my dreams to rescue me"

Other

it's my birthday and I'm pathetic enough to write it here :'D

I got the worst birthday ever. I'm working in a small group ( around 10 people). Every time when have a birthday of someone in group, a person ( temporary called Ms A) will make a group chat to prepare for birthday party. We will give the idea about present, cake, the way to celebrate...etc together. Even the party's cost, we always equally divide. Last week's Friday is my birthday and of course as usual, I know there will be a party to celebrate my birthday like the others. But before that, I received a message on the group's chat from Ms.A. It's said that from now on, who got celebrated this time will be in charge of celebrate birthday for the next person and that the idea was unified by the others. It's mean I'm the one who will do this next time. I don't mind to do it but, I feel like they don't respect me...?  This idea I never heard about it, so it's mean I don't have rights to discuss about it even I'm a member in group and I think It's really graceless when announce that in (or near) to someone's birthday. It's make me feel like the celebrate my birthday in reluctantly way. Does I'm overthinking it or they really don't respect me?


Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts