she knows how to love but she doesn't know how to believe that she is  "loved"..

somewt deppressed

Lonely

I can’t seem to understand myself no matter how hard I try. When i think i’ve got it all figured out, i find myself drowning again and returning to that dark place that makes me hate myself and everything around me. I feel exhausted but at the same time i feel like maybe i’m just making excuses. In our current world if you just stop for some time to catch your breath then you’ll fall behind. The worst thing is that no one around me understands, it makes me feel like i should not be feeling the way i am.

Confusion

Sad
I think I'm so ugly and i really like this guy but whenever I think about it i think about how bad I look and how ugly i am

3am Thoughts

When I was a kid, my neighbours kid used to undress me and touch my body, I never told anyone. I was16, my mama took my virginity. I am single child and I have trouble making friends. I’ve always been all alone. My parents had adopted a girl 11 years before I was born but she used to live with dadi not with us. After she got married, her husband once touched me in 2016 inappropriately and post that I never spoke to ‘em both, told my parents but went in vain. My long time boyfriend got married to a chick from her community n ghosted me. Everytime I try to pour my heart out n start dating someone, after couple of dates, or physical intimacy, people like to keep it casual, nothing serious so I abuse ‘em and they ghost me too. Seriously I abuse coz of all the frustration. One guy I was dating used to beat me so bad till my skin turns blue black. Another guy cheated on me for another girl n left him but he continued sending me emails from fake email and calling me million times from spoof call apps, I forwarded his nudes to her that he was sending me even after we broke up, guess what, he put a legal case on me. Yes! Section 67A. I am fighting case from last 3 years. I always cry outside the court room. I pray to god everyday I die. Parents were looking for shadi however everytime they get a call, first question ppl ask, how much I earn, instead of asking my name. I’ve started to develop anxiety and anger issues. I think problem is not in others, I am quite certain something is wrong in me, till then I will either figure out how to kill myself or jus keep cribbing all my life. So that’s all about my pathetic life!!!!! Hope y’all have a great day.

Happy

@sunnville chi-cha hws you? 

5 Rules for a good life

• Be thankful for your life,

*Be happy,

*forgive others, 

*Don't Compareyourself to someone

* Make Good Friends...

Lost intrest in everything
Contact list blocked 
No one to mssg me on whatsapp 
Just treating patients in day and part time tutoring after that.
Comes home sleep 
Then Dnnr 
sleep again while thinking about what to do....

Realised how different people are and how different their traumas are.Any person we see from face has a story to tell which his heart keeps safe.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts