Scared confused.like I used to be numb and one day I just broke down and like it lasted a while but when it was over I was so scared because I felt like something was lifted of me and I knew that that weight kept me safe like I was safe with that weight and it’s just gone and I want it back and now my minds trying to push me back into that box and like I want to go back but like it’s trying to give me nightmares and trying to scare me back and like it’s school holidays and I can’t talk to my friends and I’m freaking out and I want to talk to someone but then I feel like a burden when people have gone through worse and then I feel selfish for having these feelings and I can’t sleep and then my body fires me to pass out so I can rest but I don’t feel safe and I just wake up with a weight gone from me and it reminds me okay be careful keep your guard up because I strust easily and then when they do something I feel like it’s my fault