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Repeated intrusive thoughts.
Unstable emotional regulation.
Out of body experiences.
Alternating between feeling numb and striking out in retaliation.
Inability to stop scanning for any new data that might cause more distress.
Feeling overwhelmingly powerlessness and broken.
Needing to regain self-worth by assigning blame.
Confusion and disorientation.


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The way you presented you thoughts, looks like a work of a highly creative person.

You know the answers are all there, you have them with you the only problem i can figure out is the loosing trust in your self. you seem like a highly intelligent creature all you have to do is take a step back and use your out of body experience to take a look at the situation and you will realize. it is not as big of a problem, as you already know the problems and understand them well, you were able to bring the complexities of them all and creatively articulate on paper.

Most of us don’t even know what is going on with us in such situation let alone explain. Trust me you already taking control of this you are almost there, with a lil more practice you will get there.

what can you do.

Practice mindfulness, How? Internet can help.
A lil exercise during the day morning or evening will help
We all have something we believe in God, Science, family, friends, ask for help.

I hope you feel better.