Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Physical health
It was September and its after 1 month I joined my btech 1st year. My family is a middle class family and I am girl of dreams and responsibilities as well. Then came my worst nightmare I became so sick I developed kneepain and I consulted the doctor for the first time. Before this 1year back my mother got diagnosed with RA(rheamatoid arthirities). By the time I got she was doing fine and was able to take me to hospitals. I started using medicines for knee pain but no use. Day by day my symptoms became worst and doctors couldn’t understand what was my problem. I developed burning on my feet and legs. Later the pain Spread through out my body and I started feeling so much fatigue. After 1and half year of roaming around hospitals I came to know that I also have a autoimmune disease like my mom but doctors couldn’t figure what was that. I am using my mom’s medicines precisively steroids and I had little improvement. But suddenly I have reappearance of my symptoms and it really makes it worst to study. I was a studious student with good cgpa in 10tha nd inter. My life is now ups and down. I have to use medicines lifelong not even medicines “steroids” which are not that much recommended to a normal people. I have completed my 2month medication and it is really painful that I couldn’t even do my things with ease. I am feeling so tired always in pain. I had lot of hopes in my life, now everything is shattered. I am just 21 year old. I have people like my friends around where i am acting that i am okay. I am the best actor ever😞in this case. I don’t know how my friends would receive even if I tell them. I am emotionally and physically collapsed🤕. I have so much of hair falling of from my head due to activity of disease and I have few friends who made fun of this one time. I am building lot of insecurities due to this issue. I don’t know how people recieve me. But defenetly I am not living for people I am living for myself. But God don’t u think that I am too young for this suffering. Sometimes I feel that I should end my life because nobody has any use of me but rather a burden to my family. My family never feel that I am a burden they love me and support me. I know that i am in this phase of life where suffering with pains became a habit for me and if decide continue to live I have to habituate to the pains of the disease lifelong until my last breadth.
The people who read this upto hear remember 1 thing you don’t know what a person is undergoing in his/her life. People do act like normal but they have sufferings. Stop judging people based on their looks, language and etc. Try to support people around u and u don’t know
The magic it does create in ur life. Bye…