Part 2:
...Then our work schedule gets changed due to some of our colleagues and I was  forced to work in shifts .While some others enjoyed the comfort of working in 9-5 schedule.Adjusting to this change already took a toll on my memtal health and also working in odd times which completely opposite to her schedule hindered my opportunity to get to know her more.
    Consoling myself my feelings for as just a momentary weakness ,I was trying to fit into life.

But fate has already made sure of making my life upside down....
  

Lonely

Another night I’ve passed awake, atleast I didn’t just stared at walls this time. I watched a movie. I just finished journaling my thoughts. Well not actual thoughts in words cause I’m too scared to write down. What if somebody reads that? It has happened before and there’s no guarantee it won’t happen again. When I was a kid my parents read my diary and confronted me for each and every word of that so now I just draw my feelings. It feels good, kinda therapeutic. Most of the time I don’t know what these drawings of mine actually mean but I take some colours and let my thoughts flow on paper. 

Anxiety

I still wondering why devi had seg with ban, but finally she had. Still waiting for next season 

3am Thoughts

I am 26, female. I need to talk about negativity in family. Basically fighting parents.
I use to work in different city, but due to pandamic i had to come back to live my family in feb 2020. And i lost my job. Its been a year i am at home. I am home after 6 years for such long period of time.
Since last 1 year I have seen my parents fighting over silly things Like turning fan off/on, What to eat..... Etc
These fights last for weeks. My father stops talking to everyone in family.( We are family of 4, Parents n 2 daughters all were home due to pandamic)
He stops eating to show that he is angry. My mother ask n request him to eat. She cries alot N he puts all blames on her. He never melts by all of us crying. This kind of this last for days..... Each week he have new reason to fight. 
I am so done with such environment. During such times. I get terribly scared. As soon as i notice him not talking. My mind automatically starts recalling all things said/ happen in last few hours, day. I feel like running away from home. but the only reason i stay is my mom. 
I am so scared that i want to settle it. Whenever he should i shiver.There r times i have asked my mom that why they r together. This all is affected me mentally. I feel scared when i am with males.. I am losing my confidence. 
I just pray to get married and more away from here. 

There r many things like these.... He is very dominating... For instance i am talking on my phone on call with someone... He wants to know whome i was talking what was the conversation....
If any of us step out from home... He wants to know every detail.....

I want some freedom.. i have been staying independently from last 6 years... Maybe i am not use to these things....
Same happens with my mom..... She don't say a word.. becoz she knows if she try to explain herself... If will shout more not eat.... Not talk...

Now my sister lives in another city for work n now i stay with parents. I am so scared that they should not fight again ... Becoz i am terrific to face it all by myself.... Plz help what should i do

What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others - Nelson Mandela

Happy

Me bohot pareshan hu samajh nhi aa rha kya karu kisi se kah nhi sakti kyu ki ye step maine khud liya h maine 2nd marrige ki hai jo love marrige hai marrige 6 month pahle kar li thi inter cast me lekin family me ab open kiya h bt ladke ki family bohot naraz h nhi maan rhi h rakhne ko tyar nhi h ladke ki mammi ki bohot critical condition hai gharwale chahte hai ki mai  waha jaau lekin me kaise jaau me kya karu samajh nhi aa rha  me ladke ko b pressurise nhi  kar sakti wo khud b bohot pareshan h ladke k gharwale chahte hai ki me use chhor du lekin me kaise chhorr du meri to 2nd marrige h meri kya galti h Ager maine aisa kiya to mere gharwale mujhe kbhi nhi apnayenge PLZZ help me 


Mental Health

I will kill everyone after few years because everyone thinks only for themselves 

Anger Issues

Accept as it is..🥀

Sometimes I look around, see the world, and I'm so glad I'm here!


The world is filled with so many different opportunities. It's amazing how many things we can experience. From meeting new interesting people to enjoying the hot sun on my skin. And sometimes just breathing feels amazing!


Other times I look around and wonder why am I going through this. Everything I feel is just a moment, and even different feelings end up being the same in the end. Just feelings. Not even sadness can get me, just emptiness.


I figured that's life.


I'm very proud I've been able to keep the other side away lately.


There was a time when I felt like I needed to be great. I aimed for perfection and in some ways I got it. But I also got sick with that. Outside I smiled and thanked compliments, inside I cried and screamed for the bar set.


I'm still growing, but I'm starting to feel more and more comfortable with what I am. I won't forget the past and I don't want to. I want my pain to serve as a lesson, a lesson that will walk with me through this life. I aim for happiness now. And that is a constant, not a mark at the end of the path of life that can only be reached at death.


I'm happy with myself because I am. And to be is just good enough for me.


I don't want to be ambitious. Because I'm afraid of where that will lead me.


I have things I'd like to do in this life, but as much as I'd like those, I want to like the present more. And I do.


I might want to travel the world. But I'm also enjoying finishing this book in front of me. And I don't want to feel bad about not traveling around the world if I was having fun reading.


Have you ever heard about the story of the two wolves fighting inside each one of us? I believe that. And sometimes I fear I'm feeding the wrong one.


I've done so many bad things. I've pushed so many away. And sometimes I feel alone. And afraid that I might go back to a state that will harm me. And afraid of hurting others because of my own pain.


That's not who I want to be.

So sometimes, when the sun doesn't shine, I plea. 

Plea for help. Plea for a shoulder to cry on. Plea for peace. Plea for myself. Plea to remember pain. And happiness. And plea to choose the right one.



Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts