Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Ok so, PLEASE DON’T JUDGE

I am in love with my friend. He’s 14 years elder to me and he’s getting married soon. He knows that I love him! He knows i wanted to get married to him. I have told him numerous time. But he take it as a joke everytime. He thinks I am still a kid and don’t understand anything. Dude I too understand everything. I have gone through a lot of shit in my life and i am so independent right now.
How do I stop talking to him. His birthday is coming soon. I just want to stop talking to him after that. I really don’t know if i can stop talking to me. It breaks me to see him getting married. Obviously if i am talking to him he will invite me and my family to his marriage. How could I show my face to my family. How could I explain them that I love him. Please suggest some good ideas to leave him after his birthday