Never have I ever created fake scenarios in my mind at night which leaded to a total breakdown. 
(I have)

Yeah same which actually made me think that what ever I think won't happen 🙊

What I think I know will happen some day and it shatters me

I have hardly any friends. Ive tried to be nice and a good person to everybody and they all ignore me. Ive tried to help others and nobody misses me or leaves me messages. I got so fed up that after a year, I kicked everyone out of my server. They are people who pretend to be my friend but would never admit to be my friend in front of other people. They would lurk and not interact with anybody. Then there are people who try to give me lessons or words of wisdom about how everyone is alone and nobody is happy and that just pisses me off. Like i need to hear advice from teenagers. 

Friends

I am feeling shunned . Lonely and full of sadness . I just want to be understood . But it seems I’m too complicated for anyone to understand me. My friends do not like the same things as me I try not to party . They don’t like that. I don’t get invited out anymore. I just keep going to the river and writing down my feelings. I just wanted to be accepted.

I feel like I have lost my skill to connect with people. Like i dont have much to offer now in terms of personality and it makes me insecure and not be confident. 

Frustration

I don't really know where to start from about my problems, probably blaming others would be the best it always is, probably because we don't need to change ourselves when we blame others for the grim in our lives. My friends love to tell me things about myself that I kind of know but never feel like changing, mostly because of my lazy attitude, when I was in school I never thought it in a way that they should accept me like I am, it never bothered me, maybe for like 2 minutes or even less, eventually I started feeling they said those things to shut me up but obviously that never happened for more than 2 minutes, now when I think about it, it's almost like I was trying to invade their group. I never really knew how to make friends in school and even now I don't, we generally share moments with people, feeling the same thing as they do, when we do that unknowingly that's when we make real good friends and bond to some level, I was more like a person who knew the situation if it was sad, bad, happy (I actually hate being happy when everyone has a smile on their face just a default I guess) or whatever but always wanted to be a bit extra just to be cool I guess, I believe that was wrong by me to do, everyone felt the same way and I didn't let them share this moment, I find these things really cringy to be honest, sometimes I did it just to make them think I was different. Sometimes I feel I wasn't around people who were like me maybe I didn't know them very well and I didn't bother asking them when I noticed something about them, sometimes it was because I didn't want to bother them and other because I had this habit of hiding things because I lied, it's an easy answer to pass the question, eventually this lying became a habit because everyone sees it when you're hiding something, yeah so I was kind of a loner in their eyes. It's not like I don't talk to them now but I feel they should've told me that we know "you're hiding" or "you're clearly lying" to my face maybe not that you're hiding part because insecurities, but about lying. This really fucks with your mind, you start believing in those lies and create a person in your head, this just pushes you away from your friends and stops you from growing, to become a better version of yourself, now that I think about it I could have been so much better today if someone told me that and maybe help me change myself even a bit I would definitely have been less lazy and know how to deal with situations better, in which you're supposed to work and not give yourself excuses. That is the biggest problem in life today, being lazy and not doing something you're supposed to do and then later on getting depressed that you didn't do it, and then feel lonely because of all those things, that is definitely the wrong way to think about it but you get sick of yourself, it's like a vicious cycle that breaks you everyday from morning to night. I can tell these things to my friends who are around me now and I don't think they'll find it gay because if someone says it to me I'll definitely find it gay, maybe I need to show more empathy to people around me to get some but this empathy changes everything. At this point of time when I'm in my b.tech third year with a cgpa of 5.4 I don't think empathy is what I need from this world where people show empathy to people who don't have an unshakable will and purpose. I talk to some of my school friends sometimes so that helps and we have now and me obviously :)

Mental Health

I don't talk to my college friends much because they're very different from me......they can hangout with you but only with the thought that they want someone to hangout with in college and the other reason is they'll act nice if they need something from you.
Uggh how should I behave around these people?
Should I totally cut them off or just talk less with them?

Do u guys feel sorry that you don’t have any friends anymore bc of your past and get depressed over that and daydream about having friends or someone loving u. Like am I the only one. Likeeee ughhhhh. 

3am Thoughts

should i leave the gc i’ve been in for almost a year? i’m trying to decide.it’s full of all my friends from my old school.i transferred and all they ever talk abt is their school and when i ask for advice or say something they just seem to ignore it and talk abt sum else.i’m thinking abt it but i still want to be friends with them but something just feels weird when i call them friends.idk.

I have just graduated from high school and what bothers me is that all of my “friends” turned distant and fake. They kind dropped me and fully manipulated me to only benefit themselves. I feel really sad and down as I feel really lonely during the summer and have nothing to do. My bf is also leaving next week we are gonna be doing long distance and generally my mental health is really nad. Cant way to move to London :)

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts