Need some motivation to going on going through a rough phase lost all friends my partner and i aren't talking from last month and he hasn't texted me a single thing that he wanna sort out things or don't wanna lose me whenever we fight i always msg after some days so we start talking but he never take any initiative to keep me in his life this time i didn't msg him so its been over a month that we are not talking totally wasted 2 years of my life for someone who is not fear losing me..i don't have friends to talk i don't talk to even a single person i am all alone and tired..

I don't know how to put my feelings into words it hurts so bad and i don't know what should i do ..

Lonely

it's 1:44 am, he didn't texted me from last 3 days , so i thought i should text him.....he was being rude and said he only texts me when he wants to. i didn't felt anything at first but now i am not able to sleep, it feels so heavy.😔

Life

Today i had a breakup just because of my overthinking and insecurities which he was warning that even after this much effort you're like this, now he is very serious but for seek of my happiness he is taking to me what should I do for apologize, he is saying i want myself free and happy what should I do now

Breakup



         🙋‍♀️🌻 Hello again my timed out friends... I apologetically have a bit of what some would call a rant..?🥺 Sooo i just need to stop && try && shake this  rapid boil building inside if me because I've been literally catering to this man, accepting every single one of his wishes ANDD flaws.😳 Respecting his wishes was not easy for me.... I don't bend let alone break on certain things. But with him I learned to please him.. And character flaws he's got too. Like how VANILLA asff he is, with absolutely no wiggle room whatsoever. Lol. I ain't even a super freak or nothinnn.. But I am extremely at least curious about a few little things I'd REALLY LOVE to at least explore further.. Like being tied up -like me just me with tight rope && then ofc being tied down.. Restraints.😋 He's older like 7yrs older I'm only 31. I feel like I need to experience... At least try once with me 5he. If he didn't like it, fair it doesn't have to ever happen again. But I've begged him to try..?! But it never does. Lol 8yrs later I've basically completely abandoned the project && given up all hope in the matter with him. But now he's acting like I don't submit entirely to him andd surrender all the power to him on the Daily. 🙅‍♀️ Hell nah dude. I know we are easing into m seperate lanes but the road to it has been drug out and tiring. He's gotten so unimpressed and cold. I dk friends, my bad. Just kinda at a stalemate && could use some recommendations on how to proceed..?! 🤙✌️

Lonely. I'm so lonely. 
I've moved further from my family so they are out of reach. I love my new house but live alone.
My work friends have all left our place in the last few months due to poor management and treatment at work - I'm trying to do the same but so far haven't had the same fortune. It's so lonely there too. I dread it every day.
My normally loving boyfriend (who lives a few streets away) has become withdrawn in the last few weeks, and no matter what I do to be by his side I am being pushed away in response. I don't feel I can reach out to him anymore and he often ignores my attempts at contact. I'm trying to respect his boundaries but am becoming deeply unhappy.
I don't have any close friends or a best friend I feel I can call or text. 
I've stayed home today because my anxiety had rocketed and I can't seem to stop crying. 
I feel so alone.


Six months back I met this guy, beautiful yet disturbed. We fell in love a month later. And he tells me how he's affiliated with the illuminati. I believed him. He told me all about them and all about how and what happens. I was so fascinated, because I remember only months back visualizing me being close to knowing the truth about them. And here I was, in a relationship with a member. Then one day he asked me if I remember why I had fallen for him. And I couldn't think of any reason. Then he said he had chosen me and that I was meant to fall for him because he wanted me to. At that time, it felt pretty romantic, I was so in awe. Sometime later he told me he'd have to dump me and date other women, and that if I could stand him cheating on me and still love him, I could have him forever. I didn't think twice before asking him to let me join too. They've all I have ever had my mind on. I know, not exactly goals, but it was an escape I wanted. He didn't hesitate before saying no. Said he didn't wanna see me hurt. I didn't want to see him with someone else and still love him. I couldnt do that. I'd rather join the group and be a part of it than be apart from him. But he didn't think like that. So many times, I wanted to just tell him let me join but he wouldn't let me. So I dropped it. During all this I didn't realise my entire life was crumbling down, with him being the only thing I wished to be around. When I realised I was devoting myself to someone who would hurt me to be with me, I took a step back. I saw such utter chaos that I wanted to take my life. I wanted to just cut my wrists open and bleed on my floor. And just minutes later he texts me that he cant be with me anymore. That he can explain it to me but not to them. And I fell numb. I figured that the time had come for my test, if I could really stand seeing him with someone else.  But I knew it in my heart I couldn't. He told me, we'd still be dating, where he will see other people too but if I cheat it will be over. I couldnt help thinking how convenient it was. How easy it was for him to just choose me. So the next day I went away with his friends, and slept with his friend. The only thing running through my mind was how I dont wanna be a pawn anymore. That I'd rather have control of my life than have him in my life. I chose myself. And I dont regret doing that. I miss him. Oh sweet satan, I miss him a lot. But I had to let him go. I hurt him I know and he probably hates me too right now. I'm okay with that as long as I can do whatever I want without having to worry about repercussions. So many things were wrong but it's just how I didn't want it. I've felt happy with myself, I've found peace. I still wanna end up joining them but it won't be for anyone else, it will be for me.

Self Love

Can someone please help or share any thought or advice with me 🙏🏻 maybe someone was in a same situation.. :

Usually my boyfriend pays attention to me and we talk, lough, share live moments together, have fun and it's all good. But then it happens that I start feeling that we are not ok. He stops paying attention to me, tells me that the battery of his phone is almost empty (but I see him being online after), we talk for a few minutes and he says he needs to go (to get more work done, to have lunch with some of his relatives, or to go to a mechanic (he loves his car), or to go to the place he works to do some paper work (he's mainly working from home though), or just to go outside). And I start feeling scared that he is not interested in being with me anymore. And I start thinking over it intensively and it leaves me very sad. Sometimes I worry so much that I go under the blanket or take a shower and cry. It happened several times that I made us argue because I felt abandoned. And he says that I'm overthinking and inventing things. I don't know why I feel that way. I am not sure if I am overthinking it or not.

We are dating for over 3 years. I know that he loves me, and I love him very much too. But these feelings happened to me. I don't know what should I do?

I feel a little bit depressed with some parts of my life right now, and this pandemic makes it all worth.

So it's difficult to say whether I'm focusing on sudden lack of attention from my partner or it's just because I feel frustrated in general.

Have anyone went through same situations? And maybe you found something that helped you?

Relationships

I don't know what to say.. i am having problems with my fiancé.. he is not treating me well like he used to, before our engagement.. he started complaining about each and everything i do.. i guess he dorado like me anymore.. he wants me to me to behave like a women..  i am a women and I don't know how to behave like one .. a women is whatever she wants i am a person who believes that.. but he don't understand what i am saying.. can anybody help me.. i can't actually tell my parents that now he is behaving like this because i am the one who loved him and my parents didn't accepted it before .. now if i say to them that he is making problems and all they will probably start to hate me too.. i love him.. i just want him to be understanding thats the only thing i want 😓

Have been chatting with a man for about a week we both were all flirty and good but today he is behaving so distant like just liking my messages and giving me one word answer and ignoring some of my msges etc etc it feels weird ....what should I do next ? 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts