Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

My sister has mental issues, she sometimes goes to the psych ward, but she takes out her mental problems on me, tells me I’m evil, scares me, tackles me “for fun” (not that bad just playful tackle but I don’t like it) one time she tried to eat hand sanitizer. But she doesn’t like telling anyone about the problems, expect me. My parents know of them but I have to tell them. She takes it all out on me, and it feels like I’m getting the second hand experience of them. She puts signs about how people are evil and I’m trying to kill her on the wall. I’m not, and those posters are triggering to me because I love my sister and I don’t want her to think that. Whenever I tell her to stop doing something that bothers me she says “your so lucky you don’t have mental issues imagine how I feel. I’m trying stop pushing me.” It is true, she has it worse then me, I feel bad by being so hurt from her problems. She can’t fix them, but can she at least deal with them away from me? I’m just a child and her expecting to get answers and diagnosis from me is pressuring. I get so angry that I can’t understand what she’s going through even though she expects me too. Maybe I’m not helping her enough. I try. But it overwhelms me. My parents always ask her about how her day is going, but they don’t ask me that. My dad told me today, “I know you have it fine on your own.” I don’t know why that hurt because it shouldn’t. I do have it fine on my own, I don’t have mental problems like my sister, but what if just for one second can someone help me? Ask me how my day is going? Is that selfish. I care for my sister and I like that everyone is so worried. But sometimes I feel kind of lonely. I’m the middle child, there’s always someone there to help my sister if she’s having a bad day, and my brothers young so he needs some extra help but me? I have nothing special I’m just in the middle. Sorry this is long, I’m not that sad i just feel like writing how I’ve been feeling lately. I don’t know if I really want anyone to read this. If you get to this point, please just go about your day, forget you ever read this. Thank you.