My mother Is the most toxic person I ever met. She just finds reasons to scold me. Abuse me. Torture me. Someone please help me calm down. Everytime there is an argument I feel like dying

My whole life iam just afraid of her. Never happy 

Anxiety

I am feeling very irritated at every single thing. Ugh

Mental Health

Irritated and incomplete 😤

Depression

Im so tired of my mother’s toxicity and her remarks, fat shaming, saying stuff like, “you’re never going to be good enough in what you do” or “you’ll never be successful in your career” Today she was like, “you live under my roof so i provide for you and that means you have to do what I say” wtf does that even mean? And then my stupid response was “i didn’t ask to be born it was your choice” and she’s like"yes i wanted you then but not anymore" lmao yay me. 

Frustration

I keep imagining my mother being a jerk.

I'm feeling really miserable like no one wants me. I hate the way I am. My mother is always scolding me. Like if I'm doing the pocha she's like you don't do it correctly and when I don't do it she's like you don't help me in doing chores. WTF. Once she asked me take off clothes from the balcony and I did and put the clothes on the chair as I was busy and later from nowhere she came and started yelling at me "you could've folded the clothes you just took off clothes and put it on the chair". If you wanted me to fold the clothes you could've told me. How I am supposed to know that you want me to fold the clothes. She always gives half instructions and when I do whatshe told she's still not satisfied and then she starts yelling. She's like what have you done bla bla. I did what you told.

Anger Issues

I hate her. I hate her so much. Have you ever hated your own mother to a point where you can’t handle it and just want to die. This attachment issues she has with me is so burdening. Whenever she is there I seem to get so irritated cause of her bad behavior and Karen behavior. Talking to her is impossible. Guilt trip and victim blame is a game she plays oh too well. I want to run away but am in a different country she and she followed me here. I can’t control my anger anymore. 

Lately, I have been having these issues with my mom. I don't know why, but she is practically the reason I am becoming anxious, depressed, regular headaches, and even poor confidence. 
I know that she loves me, but the problem is when she thinks I should do whatever she told me to do. She wants me to just help her all day. I get doing household chores is tiresome, and I should help her. Bu repeatedly nagging me to do something, taunting me is making me recoil back. 
I mean even a little appreciation will do. I swoop the whole house, arrange everything and many other things but she forgets them and says "you did nothing today". 
Whereas my brother just brings a bread packet and there she is praising him. 

I get angry easily, it is hard for me to be quiet when I am being accused wrongly, and I just lash out. Which I know is bad, but I am trying to control it. But my mom just pushes my boundaries way too much. I am literally living in hell now, since everybody sides with her. My father and sibling are like I am wrong. 
I am so tired.

Oh god, I just vented that out, and it feels good even though it is just a quarter of it.

Exhausted

Why does my mom obligatorily feels the need to have power over everything? Is there anyone who knows how psychology works here?

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