My mom passed away in October last year. I have been inconsolable since then. My father and I do not share a very close relationship as we’ve stayed distant due to his work. But I love my dad.
I live in New Delhi alone as none of our relatives would come to stay with me as they’ve got families of their own.
I still haven’t recovered from the loss of my mom. She was the closest to me. I miss her and I cry every day and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get past the fact that she is not here with me physically.
Recently, my dad’s mom and his eldest brother have started looking for a suitable woman to get my dad remarried to. It is hurting me to the core that it’s not even a year and they have started looking for a suitable match. What pains me the most is that my dad agreed.
I am 27 years old. I do not need a second mommy to come live with me and take care of my needs. I am messy right now, yes. But I am sure I’ll get better. I have to accept my mom’s fate. And I will, someday.
I cannot have some other random woman come and take my mother’s place. That’s my mom, for god’s sake. I am a grown-up woman who doesn’t need a step-mommy.
I am upset to the core now. Nowhere to go. I don’t want my dad to stay alone. But if he wants to marry someone for my sake, I am against it. If he wants to start a new family, be my guest. But I cannot be a part of it.
Thank you, everyone. For hearing me out. Had to vent.
Hey buddy
It takes a lot to courage to show up here and be expressive. I cannot help you in this situation, but i sm here for your emotional support. I know this whole time must have been very difficult for you. I jope things fall in place and you are happy again.
As far as remarriage of your father, i think he must be around 40-50 years old… And see he is also said by incident that happened. He is growing old and he must be feeling lonely too… So its ok if he wants someone to accompany him.
Your dad must be 50+ minimum. Its his choice to look for a new bride but he should ask you too. In the end if it doesn’t work out at least you’ll have your independence to cherish. As you are 27, you can move out and live on your own if possible.
My mom passed away like 2and half months back and I am almost same your age and one of our relatives asked us that do you have a problem in remarriage of dad, and there was big dilemma as I couldn’t see any other woman in my mom’s place and we will grow and have a life and stopping dad and letting him alone throughout life is tough
Thankful my dad said only one line and my respect for him turned many folds and he said if we have to give a grade to your mom she was an A+ woman and nothing beyond her could be ever found and I have spend my 27-28 years with her and I am used to her and no woman could ever be great like her so I won’t be able to adjust to anyone and if he goes for remarriage and doesn’t find a good woman I will end up loosing my this family too.
And that day I realised what true love is.🥲
Heyyy, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom :( I’m sure she’s in a much much much better place, and she’s smiling looking down on you :)
I completely understand what you mean. When we lose someone close to us, we lose a part of ourselves. And I know the pain is unbearable. But I’m sure your mom would like you to know that she’s absolutely fine and that she’s alwayssss with you and she wants to see you smile and gracefully accept the fact that she’s just not with you physically :)
You’re so strongg 😍
And I know, what happened SUCKS, I’m definitely not trying to justify your dad’s decision, but I think some part of me understands. Trust me, because he’s remarrying, does NOT mean he doesn’t love your mom anymore or that he forgot about her in any way. That’s a void that cant be filled, we both know that. But as he’s aging, so are you. And someday you’re gonna get married and start a new family whereas, he’ll be alone…
And I’m sure you dont want that either. Life is short, buddy. He’s just looking after his happiness and can we really blame him for that? But again, this does not mean you’ll have to treat your stepmom like your mother. She will and can never replace her. But I guess having civil relations with her would help all of you so much :)
Listen to me, this acceptance will not come immediately. It’s gonna take some time but can you please think about what I said? :)
And she will not replace your mom and I’m sure that’s also not your dad’s intention. Take careeee buddy. We care about you and we’re here for you :)
Since you need to push it out … i will not advice you anything…
Just wanted to say one thing think about your dad he will have to live his life alone … you will get married and leave him but think about him he need a partner in that age …
