Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

My mom always yells at me. When I ask her on how to do things. Like if I am doing something she wanted me to do right or not. Ever since my dad came home from overseas, she always blame things on me. Even if it was my brother’s doing. I feel tired of explaining things over and over again. I always wonder when will she be proud of me. When will she show me off to her friends. When will I get a tight hug from her telling me it’s okay to talk to her about my feelings. When will she allow me to live the way I want. When will I hear the words ‘grades doesn’t matter, do what you enjoy I am not stopping you’. ‘Come to me when things get hard’. They always rush things like ‘you should be able to do this by now, when I was in your age…’ . Like allow us to learn in our own pace. I have so much time in the future. I want to do the things I dream of for myself. I don’t want to do things that I don’t want to do because I believe that one day I will be doing it too. Maybe out of curiosity or I just want to experience doing it. I want to find myself. I want to create myself. I want to write and create my story that I will remember. I want them to understand me. I just want to live like that.