My friend of 3 (nearly 4) years blocked me without a word a few days ago. I sent them a friend request and after a long time they accepted and sent me something like nothing had happened, so (ik this sounds dumb and immature lol) i sent just the cowboy emoji because i felt awkward, im autistic and dont know how to respond in certain situations like this. they said something like “why did you even friend me if you were gonna be like this?” and blocked me again.
I have no idea why they did it, the only thing i can think of is because i was being dry/not talkative that day. But we’ve been friends for roughly 3 years so i dont know why suddenly then they decided to end it. I dont know if theyre going through something or what because i know they have issues at home and with anger and shit. But its making me paranoid as hell. I’ve never held friends long and i already have issues with an inferiority complex and my self esteem in general. I have other friends to talk to so its not like theyre the only one, but it makes me feel sick to my stomach to think i did something wrong and i dont know what it is. If i did do something to make them react like this then of course its their choice not to tell me if they feel i dont deserve it, but i cant help but be anxious.
Not being able to hold friends for more than a few years makes me feel like im, like, a shit person. which i already think i am. People leave me so often that i cant help but feel like im the problem and not them. Am i too much to handle? Am i obnoxious? is it cuz im bad with emotions? I don’t understand why it keeps happening but ever since my dad pointed it out i cant help but wonder “Why don’t i keep friends?”
I have mental illnesses and im currently sleep deprived so im focusing on it way more than i should be but its making me feel nauseated.
Just because they blocked you left you, you shouldn’t doubt yourself. If you were friends with them from past 3 years, they are aware of you as a person and all your problems and still if they choose to do this then do you really think it’s good for you to doubt yourself or think that you are problem? You are awesome babe, don’t ever let yourself feel worthless or less important just because some people don’t value your presence. Always affirm positively and love yourself more, if you love yourself; others will love you too.
