My eyes have started paining, sitting in front of a laptop or a phone for whole day is ruining my health. I use phone whole day long but never watch something productive. I just keep scrolling Instagram.

Physical Health

I took a selfie with my younger brothers


3am Thoughts

Do you guys sometimes miss your ex? Is it normal? 

Anyone up for a chat?

LGBTQ

I wanted to talk about my experience with physical abuse. Growing up I would have always seen this in my house where my mom and dad would get into a fight that would lead to physical abuse later and then i moved out of the house all the way Canada for studies and to get away from that. I started dating a boy here and he cheated on me with another girl, I broke up with him as soon as I got know but with time i healed from the pain, i decide to forgive him and just be friends with him, Until yesterday when we went out and got into a fight and he physically shoved me and gripped my hands so tight, if it wasn't for the other friend he would have surely been more harmful. I was not hurt bad physically but I broke down mentally and when i needed to talk this to someone, I knew i didn't have anyone. So i decided to call my mom but she didn't seem so interested to help and all I need is to get away, I don't want to talk to him again and I really always forgive and I wanna learn to be strong enough to not let him back.

Emotional Abuse

A letter from me to me:
What are you doing? why did you have to become like this? do you not remember the times we used to belive we were at the top of the world? the times we used to laugh at the people who said we were just aiming too high, you knew your self worth and would never allow anyone to even question it, you always spoke your mind and didn't give a shit about what others could ever think, okay maybe it was a little bit too much haha but still, i prefer that you better. If that you, that "us" from the past saw us now what do you think they'll think, they'll probably want to slap you in the face and ask you "what are you doing" To the you that made no apologize, why do you now walk with ur head down, always ready to apologize, it seems like ur walking arround apologizing even for existing. Why what you feel you have to do has changed now? why is it any diffrent? you're the same you've always been, then why now? I'm sorry if i ever made you feel like this is how you were supposed to feel, i want to apologize for being too harsh on you and for speaking about what i didn't know, now i made you feel insecure i made you turn into the person i swore ill never be, you still have ur flaws and as any human you make mistakes, but ur not a mistake and i want you to remember who you were, i want you to go back to being that person, i want you to love who you are, who you were and who you'll always be. Live your life for you, do what YOU want, stop looking for validation you don't need any, stop feeling in debt with others, as if you had to give something to them in order to make up for what you can't be. If you disappoint someone that doesn't mean you're a disapointment, how come are all ur dreams about making others happy, giving other's something they can feel proud of you off? I get that other's being happy makes you happy but is that real happiness? don't you think i'd be better to live as you are and be happy on ur own, i think sometimes it's okay to be a little bit selfish and put yourself first, don't sacrifise you're happiness for someone else's, don't live ur life for them bc they already have a life on their own, that's the point of it, everyone's got one to live, why live for someone who's already living? This is ur turn, they've already got theirs, so don't feel bad about it. And no, you'll never be liked by everyone, some people will leave ur life some people will feel disapointed, some people will say a lot of things, but don't take it so personal, you are not the problem, sometime's it's just theirs, what one says about another often says more about the one than the other. Promise me you will let other's know their place from now on, promise you'll stop apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, promise me other's won't stop you from being you, that you won't hesitate to speak out and stand up for yourself, promise me they won't have a shot on you. Just find the you that you used to be, i know it's still there you just got to get ride of the monsters in ur head and they you'll fly! 

(sorry for spelling mistakes, english isn't my first language, i don't have grammarly on + i have dyslexia lol)

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