My dad was playing around with my younger brother. He was tickling my brother so much that he bumped his head hard on the wall, but my dad didn't stop even though he saw/heard it and my brother started crying. The look in my dad's eyes when he forcefully lifted my brother to go to his room was scary. It was that look the one like "you're not my son, i wish i never had you if you were going to be like this" that kind of look and i felt sorry for my brother he kept on crying out loud begging my father to stop but still didn't. My mother didn't even do anything. Even couldn't tell my father to stop. I was there, but i couldnt even move. The sight was hurting me. I was on the verge of crying so i went out and try to calm myself down. It hurts seeing my parents treat us like that, even if i speak up no one will hear me, they will only care for their feelings and not ours.

I don't know my dad even cheated on my mom. A few times already in different countries when my dad was working abroad.

Family

Nobody cares untill you're rich !! 

Adulting

Late night talkies anyone 🤔😂🤣

Dreams

I need someone to talk to. Someone who just listens and doesn't let me down. Ever. 

Lonely

Many times I expressed how sadness became an emotion of comfort to me, letting it in so deep in my unconscious making harder to let it go and making my life difficult to manage due to creating and enhancing negative patterns I follow impulsively. I let it stretch so far in me, growing from childhood to today. Difficult to say why I didn't let happiness be my comfort instead of sadness, not noticing that feeling this way was bad until I figured out what was the root of my problems.
I'm working on it and it's still difficult, not many time passed since I tried to combat it with many other old emotions I have accumulated but this one is frustating because the peace it makes me feel and I shouldn't is hard to get rid off, more so if I don't have anything more solid to grab myself into. Sadness, negative emotions I can't describe have been inhabited inside me and I let myself be at home with them. I dissociate and be with them, it calms me down to the point I'm almost sleepy. Comfort, a strange warmness that shouldn't be there.
When I feel vitalized, I don't miss it. At all. The energy and happiness that makes me alive I can find in things is something I luckly found easier and I hope I still do, yet something else to grasp a sense of home and comfort is still a difficult find.
This is to me, a reminder that I'm still working on myself and no need to feel frustated when we barely started. We will get through, I will learn and say goodbye to it when it's time; even if it never goes away, it won't use me to inhabit itself anymore. I'm sure of it. Just don't let yourself in entirely, don't let it consume you like it did for years. Let's go step by step, work on the consequences to understand the root and let it go when I do.

Depression

I always have this poker face in public but my mind is screaming some heavy metal songs, imagining scenarios I know won't happen in real life, and just me being the main character: modeling, dancing, being good at everything, and just having confidence. Lol. Sometimes it's hard not to laugh especially if I'm cracking a joke in my head and I'm laughing internally.

Self Esteem

हमे एक बात बताइए एप वाले भैया की आप जो ये जोड़ने वाला ऑप्शन हटाए है वो किस सै पूछ कर हटाए और ये जो नया प्रचार करने का माध्यम ढूंढे है जो सबके नोटिफिकेशन मैं जाकर 40% ऑफ का बता रहे हैं तो इससे कुछ मुनाफा हुआ आपका या नही और जोड़ने वाला विकल्प ऑन किजिए।

आपका अपना मित्र ।

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts