My cousin just told me that I should tell my girl my living situation and I’m just scared to do it, because of are argument Saturday and yeah

It's hard to be honest
What are you afraid of? That she might broke up with you? 

Whoa, yeah it's hard to tell someone about living situation especially if there's something happening in it,... but trust me, telling your significant others about your living situation will show who they are and how your relationship will be going. If she's okay with it, good for you! And if she's not, then it's good to know to make your decision over her. You never date a person as who you thought he/she is, you date a person with their whole life.

3am Thoughts

Hey now&me folks!!

Wanna confess one thing..
I have a crush on my distant relative since ages..(remember that I'm a Hindu so there's no future for us)
Idk if he knows or not..ig he knows (his whole family knows for sure)
I get uncomfortable and awkward around him... it's just toooo much for me
I want to remove that feeling.. tried a lot of times...but He's just everywhere!!..I can't get my head off of him😩
What should I do??🥺

Crush

Why do i miss human touch? Specially a silent romantic human touch

My brother is 30 years old and just started his first ever job. Is this unusual or shameful? Im scared hes the only one

Career

There is this friend of mine and we are super close he recently started talking to my cousin and we all went for a trip last weekend. The trip was pretty great but ig he was upset with me because i was a lil cranky but not with him because of others and he was very quite. I left him and my cousin alone in the room and suddenly i was panicking what if they do something? And it bothered me alot. I kinda feel distanced from him and i feel like he's kinda maintaining distance from me. 

Confusion

My brother wanted me to close the door of my room . So i didn't . He told me he don't wanna fight. I told him why not go for it. He tossed me on the bed. Choked my neck and kept me holding for almost 5 mins. Making me realise that I'm so weak that any other man can rape me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. I hate being touched he reminded me of all those other inappropriate touches happened with me since childhood.
🤣🤣🤣🤣.
I felt horrible the funny things i had a panic attack infront of my mom. I said he touched me accidently but on my breasts. He said why do you have to fight with me then🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Mamma doesn't understand my Panic attack those phewww.
After punching my arm into the wall and cutting my hand untill they bleed i feel relaxed and ashamed and you know this feeling. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
My day went great. My own self is telling me how weak i am. Like he tells me everyday also i did all this self harm just to see attention and that panic attack was for that too just so you know. Like I'm seeking attention here too. Talking about it here. 
I'm laughing so hard right now🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Have a great day you all

Mental Wellbeing

Is it okay to have feelings for your cousin?

I don't know why I am sharing this but I feel like I have kept this to myself for too long and I can't hold it in anymore, this is part of my life...I've never told anyone this before so, yeah.

When I was around 7 my brother started sexually harassing me and my sisters soon that turned into rape. I was very young so I didn't really think anything about it but I still felt something was wrong with it. He continued to rape and sexually harass me and my sisters until he got a scholarship and moved to board school. After a year there he said he had changed but that summer...he harassed and raped my twin sister. Finally, in 2018-2019 my twin sister built up enough courage and told my mom. (around a month before we turned 11)  When my mom figured it out it seemed like she had no reaction so I don't know exactly how she felt. My brother apologized to me and my sisters when I was around 11 and even though I want to believe him...it still feels like there's a possibility he will do it again.

I'm now 12, my family has moved to 6 different houses, and me and my sister to 7 different schools- we are now currently homeschooled and barely allowed outside. My first ever pet died on Saturday my brother has one year left in the boarding school and is coming back to live at my mom's house, CPS has been called on my family three times and I don't have any friends. My older sister constantly body shames me, my twin has started to develop suicidal thoughts and my mom has developed compulsive hoarding. My family now has mandatory family counseling. 

And my father? I haven't seen him in 1/2 months and barely see him 10 days a year.

How am I supposed to get through this?

Okay so today a funny thing happened to me. But first of all, I have a question to all of you, to those who are reading this right now, When you enter a shop, it doesn't matter whether it's a small or a big shop, when you enter, how you call the shop owner,- uncle/dada/bhaiya, so Today I went to a small shop, and I didn't see the shop owner, I called him uncle and when I saw him, he was a teenager 😂🙂...Idk he was laughing, Idk whether he was laughing at me or not. I told everything to my parents, they said to avoid calling uncle, but I'm just 18 years old. And why I get awkward when I have to call the shop owner with whatever....can it be because I'm an introvert? 😥🤧

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