My boyfriend was cheating on me donce last 6 months. he is 24. He met a girl while traveling. She is 32. They did went for coffee, did night outs, parties, went to trips, started doing weed and drugs. Lost all his money on trips with her, dinners etc. Average trip costed him 2 lakh.
After all this was happening, i got to know though others that they are getting sexually involve with each other. He never told me this thing untill i asked him. On which he told she was the one who always forces her. And they did it more than 30 times.
He said that he was trying to push her away since 1st month. But i don’t know how that is possible.
After all this mess i gave up on him in January 2021. Stopped calling, texting and everything. Also didn’t attend his calls n text too…
Now after seeing that i am very angry he suddenly became very sorry for everything he did. N we talked about things he did. Its been more than 7 days, we talk once a day but everytime we fight about that girl. He says he has lost me in these 6 months seeing jow angry i am. Inspite of this he wants me to stay, but je also be in touch with that girl. I don’t like this.
There r days when he is very humble and sorry n the next day he is a manipulater and blames everything on me. I tried making things better by talking to him but i don’t know where this is leading to…
Please help. This is affecting my mental, emotional health so much. I am not about to do even daily work of my own. I am mostly sleepless and in bad mood.
That is a very tuff spot I don’t have much experience but here is my advice. 1. You are valued you are important you are a priority don’t let him push you around and devalue your worth. 2 This is a hard thing to deal with its okay to step back sometimes and figure out things for yourself getting cheated on is hard and is not something you can easily get over nor should it be condoned! 3 I would advise you to step away from this man and try to move on. He cheats and then tries to blame you that’s a big no no he must step up and take responsibility for his actions. He wants to stay in touch with this girl that most likely will keep the temptation of her on his mind and the possibility of him going back to her will be really really high. Biggest piece of advice is to draw lines make it known to him what isn’t and is okay with you if he can’t honor that he cannot be with you. I advise you to not be with him but that’s only my opinion be strong and good luck would love to hear back from you
1. I value myself. But as i mentioned that there are times when he is sorry about every thing. And needs me most to overcome these things. I melt here. I gave up on my things when i see him like this.
2. Exactly it is not easy. This is affecting me badly. I feel so helpless.
Despite of trying so much nothing is working.
3. I tried cutting off. All i want is that if i am not bothering him, he should also not. But he keeps on calling n texting.
We have common friends so maintaining distance is a big problem
You must make a choice at some point in your heart you must decide is this man good for me will he uplift me make me a better person treat me right? Once you decide that have a honest conversation with him if you feel that he isn’t the one firmly tell him how you feel and tell him you no longer wish to see him and to stop texting/calling you tell your friends maybe change your number don’t let him have control. It will be hard but you can do it! If you say yes establish clear boundaries tell him what is and isn’t going to fly. No wiggle room! Short leash and be communicative.
Also right now as much as he is having a hard time please focus on yourself it isn’t your job to fix him you must help you do what’s in the best interest in you.
Turtle @turtle09
Hi. Im so sorry that this has happened to you.
You guys would have been in a wonderful relationship considering how attached you are.
It takes so many efforts to say together after the cheating. He on the other hand seems to not get that.
But if you choose to stay and make this work
- try not to bring up the girl’s matter or avoiding the details. Its gonna hurt you more.
- Sit him down and make sure you tell him to cut her down. I know its hard but dont blame him about it.Just tell him how it is making you feel.
- Don’t question what is missing in you. At the end of it all he is coming back to you and not her. And that is your worth.
Or easier option will be to break up. It will be hard but in future may be its good for you.
Take care dear.
Yes. The time i spend with him, was the best time if my life.
I am trying my best to settle things, take him out of this girl. She is making him addict. I am making efforts to make him out of this mess.
- if i not bring that girl’s matter, and about her to him. He will keep on doing things that he was doing. N will not let me know, like he did earlier.
- i clearly talked to him that i dont want her and ur addiction. I can stay if u wish to give up these.
- he came back to me. But still eish to be in contact with her… I do not understand any point of this
Turtle @turtle09
Whatever works for you. I really wish both of you are on the same page in this.
Hope the best for you ✨
Hey so sorry for what ever happened to you, have some boundaries to yourself. Have some clarity in life whether to continue or stop this relationship as it’s becoming toxic for you, you can reach out to me if you need any help on this issue
