My boyfriend and I live in a long distance relationship. We now barely talk. He says he needs to study and talking to me daily will end up distracting him. We used to at a fixed time because of his family being around him. But later it shortned to an hour because of his schedule and then 30mins and now he says even talking for 10mins is not possible as he may get distracted. He’ll talk whenever he feels like talking. What do I do?
I think u should confront him straight. I fear he’s losing interest. When u love someone u cannot go straight without talking. I’ve been going through the same shit lately. Im not saying he’s literally lost interest. But trust your guts. And try to sort it out with him . Talk to him and be firm . Like-“i wanna talk now, it’s important”. Dont be too harsh though. Hope everything goes well.
I did talk to him and he’ll give reasons and be good for few days and end up being the same. After speaking to him this time, he says he does not want to be distracted and it’s gets difficult for him to talk.
Should I end up?
I understand that he may be too focused on his career but one cannot go without talking to someone they love. Either you talk to them or think about them most of the time. It’s upto you how you handle it. You both can take a break and take that time to focus on yourself, declutter your mind.
Your right, one cannot go without talking. And in his case he’s comfortable with not talking for 4/5 days.
U know what girl…u have had enough. Just say it to his face and leave. U deserve far better. And let me remind u. Dont let him in again. Had u been important…he wouldn’t let u go…be happy oakiii?? U deserve the same love or even more that u have given to him. Love❤️
Thank you Elina. Means a lot!
More power to you too❤️
❤️
Breakup and peace out.
Thank you!🙌
Conversation Duration doesn’t matter if you truly love hime.Even if you talk to him for just 5 min in a day and in that 5 mins you both make eachother feel great. Then that’s great. But if he is taking you for granted and not making you feel happy then end it and Move on.
He cannot afford even 5min a day. I honestly go through mental pain. I agreed with 10mins of talking. I tried every possible way to sustain this. But it cannot ever be one way. You’re right it’s time I need to move on. Thank you so much.
Then I think he is not the right guy for you. Just end this and be happy.
Sanket @sanket
Figure out if he is really into his studies? If he is facing some family problems? Or he really might be worried about his studies. If yes, can you help him with his studies in any possible way?
If he is concentrating on his studies then support him? In the long run, this will be beneficial for both of you.
Figure out what’s making him distracted, why will he get distracted. Is his distraction for real or just his insecurities.
I tried confronting him. Everything’s cool with me. I did help him concentrate in his studies. As far as I’ve known I did my level best for him to concentrate and not get distracted. Are some problems so big that you even can’t have 5 spare minutes to talk? I’ll accept everything. But this? And straight for 4/5 days?
Sanket @sanket
Disconnecting for straight for 4/5 days is a normal thing. This time should be utilized well - work/studies, plans, plan for each other, family, friends, blah blah blah…
Are you aware of what is making him distracted? OR the “Distraction” is just a cover-up? Identify what’s making him say so, it is your job. If things are suspicious then clear out. Ask him to manage some time for your relationship at once a week. He will also need to learn managing multiple aspects of life.
Things don’t start to sort out then take a break. Wait for his exams to end. After exams pressure will be reduced right? He should be able to work on your relationship after the exams. (Only if studies are his main concern)
Stay calm, think wisely, plan out how will you get answers. Apparently, you also need to focus on your work/studies/family.
Thank you so much! Will definitely take this one into consideration!🙌
I think you need to decide for your self… I think he is lying. Nobody is that busy to not been able to talk to their loved ones, you need to get this concept clear… Give him an ultimatum and discuss everything you wish… Find a solution and if he has got no time for that as well then I will suggest you to end it asap because you will continue feeling unhappy and stressed which nobody deserves. If he can’t fulfill your basic requirements then what’s the use? If it was mutually decided then it was a different story… What is happening here is he is taking all the decisions and you are just abiding by it and agreeing… I hope this helps you girl… More power to you… You’ll get through this.
Thank you @sagittarius. This means a lot! It really helped and motivated.
Thank you loads.
More power to you too!
