Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Me and my boyfriend were long distance and argued a lot. He confused me because he visited a woman that he knew her from long years ago and by his behavior I felt that they slept together. He said to me words like: maybe I will find a girl better than you ,or that there are not people who cant be replaced and so on…he talked rude towards me and he said that I can go and do whatever I want ,he doesn’t care. Because I felt unloved I went on a date with a gay and we ended to sleep together but I did that because I felt broke inside. This boyfriend that I had he talked with me without respect a lot of times but I still loved him.After one month my ex called me and I decided that I want to know the truth. I asked him if he slept with that woman or no because I wanted to know the truth and he said that yes and he feels sorry for that and that he did that because she was so sad and he was feeling pitty for her and wanted to make her happy . And he asked me what about you? And I said that yes I slept because I knew that you broked my trust and you acted rude because when actually I called him one month ago and asked him if they slept he was at her place and said I will tell you another time and he refused to give an answer an yes or no.And after I confessed that I slept with a guy his reply was omg you are a prostitute, I did not slept with that girl and I just played with your mind but you did and you are dirty and a lot of ugly words. He said that she is friends with that girl that she can call me they did not slept and I am bad the bad one here. The idea is that yesterday he described about 30 minutes their relationship and how he did it at the camera when we talked ,he was very serious and he talked a lot about how he slept with her and why he feels sorry and more things but today he is turning 120 degress and says another story.I told him that it was his fault that I went with another man because he slept at that girl place and so on, and he talked with indifference with me and what he expected me to do? He said that he wanted to know the truth and that’s why he told me that he slept with that girl but really he was very serious and I dont know whats the real truth here and why he provoked me in first place a month ago by his words that he will confess later or in real if they slept …and now he said that yes they did and after a day he says no we dont ….And actually he wrote me I just wanted you to share with me all the garbage inside you thats why I told you that…what is your opinion about his behavior?should I feel bad for going with another guy… actually my ex said to me that he doesnt care about me and so on, and why now he acts like I am a bitch ? But how he treated me? Why I did that? Please can anyone share share with me opinion about his behavior🙏