Lost ? Loner
There is a purpose for life, when you break this down to years and days you would see that there is a morning and each such mornings have got set agenda towards it. Everyday you would wake up hoping to see the brighter side of the sun, smiling faces of people around you , but when the only thought that you have is - it’s another day where you would be all alone again. Not because you don’t have anyone around you, but because you feel you are the second or third choice of everyone. 
The mornings aren’t bright anymore , the days seem longer and tiresome. There is less momentum to make things go and everything around you makes it feel artificial. Every move you make, every small talk you make, every good deed you try - the end result seems to be heading the same direction. You are in a crowd, but you are all alone, and you have to go through this every day . There isn’t an end to this. 

Andria - Kim

Im a loner too
My saliva us now feels stuck cause i havent communicate for a while now , why does it became big deal to me tho?
Did i made a great mistake? 
Did i sin highly? 

Lonely

Now a days the word Love is so so haunting !! People are saying it to everyone without actually feeling the strength , the emotions and the meaning that word has !! But I guess I  am wrong I am the only one who feels too much of everything , too much anger, too much pain , too much attachment . Yes the biggest fault I think I have is the word too much !! So I have caged my feeling as love like it is impossible to find true love specially when you look average !! This has made me cold holding my feelings , holding my opinions, not expressing things be it love , anger !! I am now an introvert , people does not listen  to my opinions , they feel I have an attitude to speak with them and sometimes when I vent my feelings out people thinks I am bichari !! I have lost myself I do not know who am I  !!!!

Another day ends with the thought of wanting to f***ing die.

Other

She was traveling in a bus....it was a little crowded so did not get a seat. She stood near the backdoor and also helped one aunty & her daughter to get down at a place they wanted to as they did not know it well. She got a seat beside the door (left shoulder outside...right shoulder towards the window, it wasn't a window seat). That 30/35 yr old man was beside her left, he kind of bent over  her when there was a break. She thought it was a mistake,  after awhile she realized that something was constantly being rubbed on her arm. She froze! She could not understand if it was because of the crowd or shis intentions were wrong. She gathered some courage and look to her left if there was any place to stand...and there was. She asked him to move there and stand. He went but was back again. He started rubbing it on her again, she was in tears.. could notthink of what to do. She was scared and her all past sexual abuse were flashing back. She wished she could do something about it, was blank, suffocated,  felt disgusted.  She remembers his sinful smile that he gave in the end while getting off. These tgings haunts her everytime she's slone, everytime when any guy is near her. She gets so uncomfortable when a boy is near her. 

I literally feel trapped in this education system giving exams every other day. Last exam I wrote, it was through mettl software. My university didn’t bother to mention that the specific subject’s exam time was an hour lesser than usual. We are generally given 45 minutes to scan and upload our answer sheets. We weren’t even told that the timer on the exam screen included those 45 minutes. 

When we spoke about it with the exam help desk, they disconnected the meeting. The in-charge switched off her phone. Yk, this is the last semester for my masters. I didn’t cheat, I didn’t skip. I wrote the exam. And it wasn’t my fault, there were so many more students like me waiting for an answer. 

I knew the answer to each and every question, however, I cannot write as fast as others to complete my paper within 2 hours. I am not saying that it should be 5-6 hours long. But some additional minutes does no harm. The marks I’ll get will be based on how fast I write and not how much I understood the concept. Also, we’ve been told by our teachers to write page lengths as per the marks that the question carries. Now I can explain my point with a 5 line example. I can prove my point crisply. Does that not qualify me to get those marks? Why should I write lengths? You teach us about efficiency but practically what do you expect? 

The exam I was speaking about, we had a meeting arranged with the exam deptt later that day. They proposed no solutions, pointed fingers at the students when they said there was a power cut and the page reloaded. They said you must ensure proper connectivity. What is the students’ fault, come on do you even realise what you’re saying? Ironically, the coordinator’s network dropped while addressing the queries. She got disconnected, twice. But she felt her problem was justified but not ours. We still haven’t heard back from them regarding a solution. 

Education system is becoming another pandemic, impacting so many minds at once. I just feel so frustrated sometimes. What do you guys think?

Frustration

You are a girl 
So you should be perfect at everything or else you'll be judged and made fun....
F u k you should learn to make tasty and variety of food 
You should know manners and etiquettes
Should know to do all the household chores
Tereko sab kuch ana chahiye kyu ??
Kyuki tu ladki hai 
And tere pe rules bhi lagenge woh bhi tune follow karne hai 
Tune apne limits mai bhi rehna hai 
F u k..... u society 











Exhausted

The good thing about bad time is, it shows true colours of everyone.

Loss

She used to talk a lot, but I never bother to listen, now I yearn for it.. 
I love my dear.. 
And sorry for me being a bad sister. 
Only after losing you I came to realize how much of a gem you are, and how much you meant to me. 


One of my friends applied for a publication, even though that’s not where their ambition lies and it went horribly. Because they tried to copy my life path and ambitions and failed miserably. Karma finds its way.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts