Losing weight is hard. Maintaining weight is hard. Staying overweight is hard. Choose your hard. 

Physical Health

Do you believe in magic ? Like spells to influence others ? 

Mindfulness

I recently visited a psychologist and got an analysis done. It will a few days to get the results and they said they will let me know when they can set an appointment. I feel so hopeless, I see no future for me..I am surprised I made it this far, but it feels like everyday is battle against myself not to pull the plug. I can't reach out to anyone cause their hands are full and I don't think they can help me anymore. 
I haven't had stable relationship ever since I  started. It's been very hard to find a partner who actually likes to hang out with me. 
I guess I am using this platform to reach out to people who don't really know me, cause I feel like a burden to everyone in my life right now.


3am Thoughts

Ankhiyan ch paani le ke 
Dard kahani le kr 
Kisi gali mod pr mara hota 
Agar tuu na hota too mera kya hota....!! 
Kisi shayar ki baddua hota.... Agar tuu na hota too mera kya hota!! 🙂❤

Music

I just exist in this world...no friends to talk to or hangout with or plan a trip with or celebrate with, no special talent or skill, no relationships romantic or social.. just breathing inside a small bubble made by myself where I overthink and make fake hopeless impossible scenarios in my head every minute of the day

You know there are people who tend to pour their soul out in front of their loved ones, it's kind of beautiful how they trust others so much. I just can't do that. Whenever I am around my friends/acquaintance they start telling me about their life, the good things as well as bad but when it comes to me I sit their silently, listen, comprehend what they are saying and then tell them how I feel about their experience. It is never the other way around, it's not like I hate listening to what they have to tell me. It actually makes me happy that they are comfortable enough to share. 
But I want to feel that comfort and trust too, I want to cry my heart out in front of someone for once rather than alone in a corner. I want to tell them the shit I have seen, the experiences that made me happy, the things that broke me and the things that fixed me. I want to feel comfortable in other people's presence, I want to trust, I want to vent, I want to rant. I just want to talk.

To be honest I stay really happy in my own company, I don't like being in a room full of people. I am a very private person, I don't let my emotions out so no-one around me knows how I am feeling or what I am going through.
But then at times I have this urge to let everything, I am thinking, out in the open. And whenever I try to share I get surrounded by instant regret. I feel like I have burdened the person listening while they have so many things of their own to deal with. 

It's really confusing. I do not want to talk to anyone about anything personal but I also do want certain someone I can turn to whenever I feel like talking for real.

Frustration

What is the end of everything?

Confusion

I’m feeling happy. My sleeping schedule is getting back on track. My brain is bombarding with ideas and I feel pumped up.


Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts