just venting out. u cn skip this post
Being youngest in family is not always a boon! My parents never ever let me do anything on my own or go out whic>> n now m dumb adult… I should not go to shop, or go out alone, or even buy by my own, should not go to bank atm anywhere. Once I got scolded badly cuz I I went to buy a waterbottle at station by my own!
When I got job n moved to other city, they use to visit me every alternate month! some may say oh its good they r caring but for me its suffocating!!! I should not cook, I should not do any work, not even do my laundry 🤦♀️🤦♀️ m a grown up I love to do things by my own. I wasn’t even allowed (have to take permission) to go n meet my friends , have long calls🤦♀️Many tyms in past dad yelled at me when m on workcall past 10pm, he use to snatch my phone at night (it was embarrassing for me to explain all this to colleagues) once he erased my phone data as there was hug gif in my chat (after going thru my phone whole night) ; his explanation was I thought some guy is fooling around as u r innocent; ps. I was 23 n working. Oh yes they made me leave one of my loving job as it was night shift (ps. I love night shifts) 🤦♀️🤦♀️
I deliberately stopped talking/ignoring my frndz cuz everytym had to cancel plans (tho all of them are understanding n never left me) ghosting became my habit as I know I won’t be able to meet or talk normally.
Covid hit n stayed at home for 2years, my mom use to lie to my friends that no she is not at home -_- even if they can clearly see me, my bestie stopped telling me that he is visiting my city cuz anyway I can’t meet. They don’t want me to go out nor they agree that anyone can visit home,🤦♀️
Finally managed to move out again 😌but only after a month my dear parents shifted with me. My office get over at 7, but they want me to leave by 6🙂. TO COPE UP/SURVIVE with them I have to lie even to go for a walk! 🥺I don’t even remember when I managed to had a walk alone.
Today after a long fight (n after ditching my frnd since a month) got permission to meet her (only for 1hr), but it rained so had to cancel plans. Instead of going back home, I decided to just roam n chill in a nearby marketplace n obvsly they got to know cuz they booked cab.
🤗I was roaming while having frndz on call>> within 5mins my dad came n now m sitting at home…, everyone is busy in thr phones watching loud videos, If you want me to stay at home then atleast talk or interact. 🙂
Its damnnnnnn frustrating! In past I switched jobs only to stay away from them, n now again I am afraid to take offers in this city I can’t tolerate being prison.
They are not orthodox or rude instead they are super super loving n caring to tge extent of suffocation (DATS THE MAIN ISSUE).
😭😭I love them n Always stay with them but its affecting my mental health n career badly.
Akshi @akshhi
Idk wht to say. Just take care of ur mental health. And u can start some interaction with ur parents like in free time u can play some games…some hobbies to connect more…watch tv or movies together and may be help ur mom in cooking new dishes…so many things…if they do not know how to interact with u…u can share ur feelings and have some fun…as ur parents are protective and caring abt u…u r so lucky…and u also love them so don’t wanna leave…with time make them understand ur feelings they will surely understand but for that u have to be positive and be interactive with ur parents.
As you said it’s good that they are caring and all but this is suffocating you and you’ll have to tell them, rather explain your situation to them. I say start with this, If this’ll continue how’re you going to manage on your own. Like if you want to do this on your own as you are not allowed to do it, you’ll be dependent on someone, and do they want to be dependent on your husband if you get married some day.
And how long will you be dependent on your parents, no offense but they’ll not be around for your whole life, at some point you’ll too have to start surviving on your own, there are something that a person will learn when tried on his own. And the thing is its good that they take care about you, but this is getting out of hand like, you re 23,24 and still not allowed to take just work calls, you’ll have to explain to them that this is not normal. You can do things on your own. How do they expect you to not to do some basic things, like how are they expecting you to do something after they are gone, do they want their daughter to be dependent on her husband . Please talk to them, explain to them that how you feel, how this behaviour of them is suffocating you, affecting your mental health. I know they’re going to get hurt, but it’s okay, sometimes parents don’t know that they’re just taking extreme steps, and it’s okay to tell them to stop and not to worry.
Lavanya Anwid @lavahopee
Trust me, set boundaries. If yoh do not like something just tell them, if you’re not going to then who. It will never be easy for you if you kept on going with your parents insecurity.
Trust me and SET BOUNDARIES
