Just need a third person’s view on this!!
I have been into a relationship from 2015. I spend lot of my time and energy into it in the beginning. I always saw potential in him and wanted him to do better thinking he would also do the same for me. He did ,but not how i expected.
He persuaded to be little physical. I was little physical but i never initiated on my own. He likes to travel and take me with him but it would always mean staying in one room and being little physical which i didn’t like. He starts doing other stuff like cleaning room, brining my groceries to let me feel he’s not forcing things and making me comfortable.
First time when i told him i want to break-up for the first time, he started crying. I felt really guilty. Now it’s been 5 years being in relationship. In quarantine i don’t miss him that much. I don’t like calling him regularly. I feel exhausted taking care of him and helping him in stuff.
He told his parents on his birthday that he wants to marry me even when i told him not to. When i told him my parents are not really happy to get me married to him, he said he’ll ask my elder sister who knows he’s a friend. I don’t want to involve her into anything. But he keeps dragging her.
I don’t know if i’m emotionally unavailable person or i’m being manipulated.
From my point of view he is a bit manipulative and you might be emotionally unavailable because of it. Whatever the situation is it’s obvious that you are not really fully invested in this person, I feel like you just want to leave but you take his feelings to much into consideration. It’s time for you to put yourself first, you don’t seem very fulfilled with the relationship and should not waste more time in it.
We started our careers together and were there for each other when we were in a new city lonely and without much money. That’s guilt doesn’t go easy.
I feel guilty for leading him on. Not being strong enough to say no. But I get scared easily. If he tells my sister who already suspects things she might scold him. I feel bad if someone else gets humiliated because of me.
I don’t have guts to be straight up badass and say no for my own good. I even get exploited by my family but that’s a different thing i guess.
Thank you for replying though.
