mochi Puti @tortila
I’ve been in the same trio since my whole life and it’s extremely toxic. Since 5th grade we’ve be talking behind our backs, we’ve always been in drama and always arguing about little stuff, and I’ve always been in the middle, the one that had to pick sides. Now we are in 11th grade and these things happens till this day, i always listen from the other how the other is stupid or whatever. i try to not talk about someone’s back but under anger, grudge and sadness all mixed up inside me i still mess up, and after that i always feel miserable and guilt. So, the first girl is my friend since kindergarten, she is very implusive, always wants to be her ways and some sort of manipulative. she can be fun to be around but she’s doesn’t handle rejection, she doesn’t let me have choice but to go out,even if i don’t want to go out that day. The second friend is from 1st grade, she can be sensitive and sweet, but also egoistic and a liar. she’s been lying for so many things to us. For these things I’ve talked to them, at first they are like okay, but then nothing really change, but i don’t if i could judge them for that, because to changes something about you personality isn’t an easy thing but that still affects our friendship and me because I’m always in between. And honestly, I’m tired and exhausted to talk about these things or argue… I even can’t trust them anymore, the kindergarten friend is on and off, she could help if she wants or not, i mean, she asks me if i am okay, and when i say ni, he doesn’t even seen it. The other I’m afraid to tell her anything because she may tell that to other people because she is sort of gossip. when I’m around them separated I don’t really know who i am, with my kindergarten friend i feel like i am too weak, to naive, too stupid and soft, but about the other i feel like i’m rude, too honest, too heartless, I don’t know anymore. I know that for my own good i have end things, but I’m too afraid to stay alone because they are my only friends that i have…and I’m not the type of person to give up or leave people easily… I’m sorry for that long text, i just wanted to let all my feelings out about that situation because I’ve been thinking about it since yesterday and honestly i don’t know what to do…also sorry, I’m still managed to learn English and it’s not very good.
