I’ve been feeling like trash lately like I’m not good enough like I’m a burden in someone’s life like everyone hates me…yet I hate myself too…
This stupid pain won’t go away…sometimes I dream of being happy, pain-free, I imagine myself having a perfect family that loves me…and always reminds me that they are proud of me…that they will always be there for me. But I can’t tell my family about the heavy pain I feel every day, they’d think I’m just making things up for attention. My chest feels heavy again…it stopped feeling this way a couple of days ago but now it’s back.
If I had the opportunity to go back in time I would take it, I would beg my parents to move me to a different school so I wouldn’t be friends with the people who I never imaged would hurt me, but I’m just foolish.
Self cutting isn’t doing much anymore I’m so full of this life, everytime I look at my scares i feel guilt towards myself. I’ve been thinking a lot about suicide, the only reason why I’m here is that I am scared of doing it…but if I wasn’t scared I’d be gone…I know that you might think I wouldn’t solve anything by doing that and I would be passing the pain to my family. But I’ve been in so much pain…it’s hard to handle all alone, I’ve never been selfish towards them so, I might be selfish for once and get it over with…but I’m weak…I hope someday I’ll heal.