Thought

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Anonymous

Ive been feeling a lot of tension between me and my girlfriend lately. She’s a year younger to me and she just started 11th grade. We aren’t in the same college. She’s made new friends has been hanging out with them and I’m happy for her since it’s difficult for her to socialise. It’s been 2 years since we know each other and 1 year since we developed feelings for each other. I asked her out recently and it’s been more than a month since we started dating. We were so in love with each other that we already started talking about ending up with each other and everything was great we had our downs we dealt with them. We were very practical about the “marrying each other” part and knew that it was easy to say but difficult to execute,but eventually both of us started taking that seriously. Recently, she texted me saying that if thinking about marrying each other was wrong, my heart dropped for a minute but then practically speaking she wasn’t wrong but I am so in love with her that it felt bad for some reason. I agreed with her for the moment and went on with the conversation. She said said that we didn’t know what was waiting for us in the future and then we started talking about how we’d be friends after we’d end things. But something was off, previously whenever we talked about ending things she used to tell me that she won’t end things with me no matter what, and I started accepting and reciprocating those feelings eventually. I asked her if she wanted a Casual relationship and she said said that it was a two way decision. I told her what I genuinely wanted, a serious relationship with her and huge ass para conveying my feelings. Her reply to that was “So now I know that you want a serious relationship right?”
and “I think I’m made for Casual relationships😭”. After she said that I asked her if she wanted a Casual Relationship again and she said “Noo but what about you”. I was in shambles. I thought to myself if I was the only one serious about us the whole time. Later she said she also wanted a serious relationship but I couldn’t trust her words anymore. I told her over text that she didn’t have to force her feelings for me just because she wants to make me feel better and she told me it wasn’t like that.
I avoided any further argument but this conversation is going to keep me up all night. I don’t know what she wants and what I should do.

I don’t know what to think of all that has happened.

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