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Anonymous

It’s really long so prepare yourself <3

I just moved to a different country so its all pretty hard. I have one friend that lives miles away and i can’t even meet them because of covid. I’m so alone and i don’t have anyone to talk to. I’ve been doing self harm for 3 years now on and off and i can’t get razor blades to cut with. The only way i feel better is if i cut. I have been having suicidal thoughts lately. pretty often. I won’t do it so don’t worry but it’s been pretty hard lately. I guess slowly there are more negative things in my life than positive. People always say think of butterflies and things that i love but the truth is i can’t do any of those things because of lockdown. I love to paint and sew and crochet but i lost all motivation to do anything that i used to love. I don’t know if i’m actually depressed but i like to think i am so i feel like i’m not the only one that feels this way.
Also there have been family issues and i just sit in my room all day avoiding anyone, because whenever i speak to my mother we just end up fighting and i can’t do with that too. She always shouts at me saying that i have no reason to be unhappy and it just makes everything worse and it plants a voice inside of me that always tells me that my feelings aren’t valid. And all i want is for someone to tell me that it’s going to be okay and my feelings are valid and that they’re here for me. Also a therapist but i can’t go to one without my parents knowing.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

2 Comments
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k

Hi dear one,
Feelings are feelings…
Your feelings are your feelings…
Your mom loves u a lot.
She cannot see u unhappy…
Her harsh words or her fighting with u indicates of her love for u
She feels helpless to see u in ur situation
N hence tries to counsel you…
It is her frustration to see her child this way…
Besides with parents we have a generation gap
So at times it becomes hard for us to share n for them to understand…

By staying confined to your room
N thinking a lot will increase your problem
See dear
Yes it will be anbsolutely fine
You will make it fine
But for that you need to take charge of your life

Whatever is going on in life
Good or Bad
Accept it…at first just accept everything
Accept urself
Accept ur feelings

Donot dissect or think more over anything…

Once u have accepted…

Stop expecting anything from anyone…

Yes we all need that someone to be by our side
Someone to understand us
Assure n reassure us
Love us
We all need warmth n affection

But very very few fortunate ppl get it…

So start loving n pampering urself

You will have to help urself out of this situation

N i know you can do it

You are very very strong…

See therapist or friend or anyone for that matter can just give u emotional support

But at end of day whatever u are dealing with you only know n it is your battle
N u have to fight
N u will win i know
Because u are a warrior…

So just hold urself tight

Have hundred percent faith in self

Love n embrace life

Befriend self

Try to keep urself cheered n happy…

Find new hobbies
New interest
Meet new ppl

Take up some online interesting course…

Get associated with a NGO participate or volunteer in their activities
If it sounds appealing to you…

Take care
More power,strength n light to you…

N pls never never never harm self
Your life is precious
You are spl…

Just stay away from all that triggers negativity…

Take care.

Anonymous

Thank you so much. It means so much to me that you’re so kind. ❤️