It’s really long so prepare yourself <3
I just moved to a different country so its all pretty hard. I have one friend that lives miles away and i can’t even meet them because of covid. I’m so alone and i don’t have anyone to talk to. I’ve been doing self harm for 3 years now on and off and i can’t get razor blades to cut with. The only way i feel better is if i cut. I have been having suicidal thoughts lately. pretty often. I won’t do it so don’t worry but it’s been pretty hard lately. I guess slowly there are more negative things in my life than positive. People always say think of butterflies and things that i love but the truth is i can’t do any of those things because of lockdown. I love to paint and sew and crochet but i lost all motivation to do anything that i used to love. I don’t know if i’m actually depressed but i like to think i am so i feel like i’m not the only one that feels this way.
Also there have been family issues and i just sit in my room all day avoiding anyone, because whenever i speak to my mother we just end up fighting and i can’t do with that too. She always shouts at me saying that i have no reason to be unhappy and it just makes everything worse and it plants a voice inside of me that always tells me that my feelings aren’t valid. And all i want is for someone to tell me that it’s going to be okay and my feelings are valid and that they’re here for me. Also a therapist but i can’t go to one without my parents knowing.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️