it’s hurt everytime i’m with my parents. the fact that they never try to appreciate my specialities just makes me feel want to run away from them. my whole family is such hypocrite. talk back about each other. and i hate with all my heart. they keep calling me animals, says im useless and such, never praise me if i got achievements. it’s like everything i do just for nothing. i myself dont have any friends at all and now my fam being super toxic. maybe im being super sensitive but, is it really my fault, they never allow me to play on playground ever since i was 5! i can’t help but just cry and bottle up my emotion everyday, but the more i kept, the more i hurt. sometimes i really need someone to talk w/ me. i just want to escape from this shit forever. i just need help.
You are not being super sensitive. Your emotions and emotional breakdown are justified. It’s absolutely fine to feel so. You can’t change what others (be it Anyone) remark about you or think about you, but you surely can change your reaction to all of that. Be it friends or family, they are all people at first. They are humans and they will say many things; some may actually mean their words and some might not. You can’t stop them from speaking neither can urge them to respect you. Hence, instead of reacting to all that they say or do, just ignore their harsh words. It won’t be easy but at least it will make things a bit easy. Be it friends or family, just don’t take their words too seriously. Whether they praise or taunt, you maintain a single stable reaction. You keep on doing good deeds not to impress others but to your own self-satisfaction. Accept yourself and praise yourself for all the good you do, because at the end only you know your true worth. No need to prove the world instead prove oneself that you are a good enough human being. Be kind. Be humble. Have faith. Ignorance is a bliss. Stay happy. Stay safe.
Your situation is similar to mine. They never realized how toxic they are because they don’t want to listen to me. No, it isn’t your fault. All children should be socialising with each other at that age and your parent not allowing you to do so is wrong. You surely have the right to be happy. If you can’t find a friend, you can try catching the dream that you’re having right now. Learn anything. Your knowledge can save you anytime. Your body may not be free but your mind is. For you to be able to think how toxic your family is proves how smarter you’re than them. Limit your interaction with your family because they’re toxic. You don’t need to be tainted with their mindset.
