It’s been nearly 2.5 years since my first breakup, but I have still not been able to get-over my feelings for her completely. I dated another woman after her but that relationship didn’t last long. Honestly speaking, I totally forgot about my first relationship during the latter relationship. But recently, I crossed paths with my first girl, and it’s been difficult emotionally since then. A spurt of past emotions have enveloped me again.
More often than occasionally, a sense of loneliness haunts me. I feel that I am plagued with a constant desire for a partner and this syndrome has taken a toll on my academic performance. I desperately wish I could get over this problem.
Pankaj Kumar @crazyguy3495
Buddy take it easy it is okay to attract towards someone that is our nature but you also need to understand that these things can happens anytime and maybe there is still some feeling that stay in you for her and don’t worry just get relax and it is fine if you feel that but just respect that and ignore it
I hear how painful that is through your words. I also know a bit about how that might feel because I too have been there. I struggled with that and I got through it. I know you will, too. There is hope.
You’ve exhibited great courage in taking the first step by reaching out. By explaining what you’re undergoing in detail it helps to understand the context you’re in & this is extremely important. Rejection hurts and because of that we are hesitant to enter future social-relationship situations-like in which rejection is likely. It’s a safety mechanism to protect us from turmoil.
Every person and split are different. We may have handled a prior breakup just fine, while the next one has us clutching our chest and making deals with God. One thing is for sure, the only way over it is through it.
Even in the phase you are in now, you’re still thinking about him. Let’s explore this. The below are only suggestions based on the given context as I’m not a qualified professional.
1. Respect is a two-way street and she must earn yours as well. She is neither above or beneath you but she must also learn to be respectful of your feelings as well. You are a wonderful human being and sometimes we just need to be told/reminded of this from time to time.
2. Be practical in your approach and measure to see if there are other factors that might have led to the split. If there is no scope of the relationship being recovered, then as you process your feelings… getting closure might be an important aspect as well. It is human tendency to seek closure.
3. Understanding why the relationship failed could have positive effects on future relationships. But ‘letting go’ always happens from within. Working on facing all your triggers can help to let go. It might be painful at first, but, as and when one starts associating new things with those specific triggers, they start to let go.
4. Seeking a new interest can always be helpful. When you do something that interests you, it makes you feel good about yourself and keeps you out of negative or self-deprecating thoughts.
5. After a breakup, our regular schedule feels empty without the person being in it.
Which is why one needs to go ahead and make a new one. Align with yourself, align with your feelings. Keep this schedule more focused on yourself, where you keep some time out for workout and meditation.
6. Developing empathy and realistic expectations for your recovery helps. Unchecked emotions can lead to despondency and a sense of hopelessness. Feelings of self-blame and even thoughts of self-harm are not uncommon, and professional guidance should be considered.
I’ve been thru what you’ve been thru - the betrayal, the hurt and so on. But I’m here today, fully well and completely recovered. If someone like me can do it… so can you.
We’re here for you.
Simran @st1199
Hello!
It happens when you felt strongly for someone and suddenly you meet them again. All the memories rush through your mind and get numb about what to do now. It’s fine and it will pass by.
However, the main concern is you want to have someone beside you in ‘relationship’ terms. I think it will create more problems in the future because you would have the desperation to need someone after every breakup. It will be difficult but you need to start not being with a girl every time you get over someone. You can manage with friends and family too. Without trying you won’t know the consequences and if you have tried, what do you think you want to do and go ahead with?
