In middle of so many things, just want to get over one person, i want him to be happy but how shall i make myself happy letting him go. I have to delete the past, move on, but dont know how. I want to remember happy memories but i feel betrayed too. And i am heartbroken, loved him for so many years...yet in the end i was nobody to him, he is happy with a new person in his life, i am happy for him to be happy but i am sad for myself, how shall i process this grief, forget him nd move on.

How do i validate these feelings, he is happy, he has moved on nd i am stuck here

He said that he was not true to me, no emotional attachment, just used me. Now he is with other lady, to whom he says he fell in love with. He said he has done one mistake in his life. But his apology or accepting his mistake doesnt heal me. I feel torn,i  want him to be happy but how will i get my happiness back.

I am confused whether he was really an asshole or i was wrong somewhere waiting on him thinking things will work out fine in between us.

Long Distance Relationship

If you don't wanna have a bad day. Don't read it. It can spoil your good mood. I'm just ranting here

You know what fuck everything. I'm at the stage where I don't even know if something is wrong with me or I'm just making it for myself. I'm so fucking big of a criticizer myself that it's suffocating. I can't breathe now. 
The expectations from me, the failures,  and the mocking from my own damn parents and closest one. I'm fucking sick of everything. 
I can't even fucking die. I can't even be at peace. Just because of a person because and even they are far away from me. Everyone around me is so done with me. Am i that fucking wrong in everything. Am i that big of a failure that my parents say that " I'm good for nothing" . 
I can't even seek help for my mental state to a doc. Because neither my parents will believe it . Even if i say " i want to suicide" three times a day nor i myself believe that it's actually there.
You all I'm faking it. I'm doing it for just sympathy and attention. Someone tell this to my mind. Someone tell me that I'm hurting myself and screaming loud and feeling like hell and trying ways to suicide several times and hyperventilating and shivering from a panic attack because I'm faking it. 
I'm the biggest hater of myself. I can't even love myself even if i try too. I'm my own biggest enemy and even if i try people around me will pull me down.
I want to live i want to be happy. I want to be able to talk to people. Be with them . Have true friends. Go to places like everybody else. But here i am . Stuck in my house in a lockdown even before lockdown. 
Everything sucks. Life sucks. I'm waiting for it to be better . But for how long .
I hope i would be able to take for a lil long. For either my happiness or my dead end.

I'm sorry for telling you all these. I'm just ranting here.  Sorry

Suicidal Ideation

There's shit that breaks my heart every day & I try so hard to be strong but it's just making me cold on the outside. 

I met this guy through a common friend and we hit it off. The common friend doesn’t want me to be friends with this guy but I personally really like his company. My friend has his reasons of doing so. What should I do? Should I not listen to my friend or should I not listen to myself? Help!! 

Confusion

Death is most feared by all of us. But imagine reaching a point where one fears feeling the pain in life to such an extent where the fear of death seems negligible. Suicide is a voluntary attempt of untimely death which leaves behind a wave shocks, heart-breaks, disbelief, regrets and sadness for all the loved ones and acquaintances. These individuals reach an unbearable level of pain and are unable to get relief.

The numbers of individuals attempting suicide are constantly rising. As per the recent reports by the World Health Organization (WHO), India has the highest suicide rate in South-East Asia. As for worldwide statistics, WHO estimates that each year approximately one million people die from suicide, representing a global mortality rate of 16 people per 1,00,000 individuals. This corresponds to a suicide induced death every 40 seconds. In this year of crisis, 2020, the rate of death by suicide is predicted to increase to every 20 seconds. It is a major public health concern like any other. Suicide prevention is the most important thing that we should encourage people to take it seriously.

Attempting suicide in itself is not a psychological disorder. However, research suggests that 90% of individuals who attempt or commit suicide have a diagnosable mental health disorder. It’s important to address suicidal thoughts suicide awareness and ideations and the mental disorders associated with them. It’s high time and of crucially vital to end the stigma around mental health to understand and accept the concerns and problems regarding mental well-being.

Individuals who commit suicide often show warning signs. These red flags are most probably ignored or missed or neglected by their loved ones. If noticed carefully, one can notice in themselves / others, suicide warning signs, which can be seen a few days to a few minutes prior to the attempt. Following are the clinical red flags with regards to suicide that should be kept in consideration:

Rage
Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities
Feeling trapped (like there is no way out)
Increasing alcohol or drug use
Withdrawing from family friends/family/society
Agitation or intense anxiety
Dramatic mood changes
No sense of purpose in life
Giving away prized possessions
Prior suicide attempts
Researching ways to harm/kill oneself
Talking or Writing about death.
Changes in physical appearance
Keeping harmful objects easily accessible
Making verbal suicide threats, such as “I want to die” or “I’m going to kill myself”
Making statements with themes of hopelessness, helplessness, and fear of becoming a burden
Any other significant changes
There is no one reason why one may contemplate giving up their life. They maybe experiencing a mental illness or a stressful life event they are not equipped to handle. There are several suicide prevention programs one can take to feel better or to help their loved ones deal effectively with these situations and thoughts. These are the ways to prevent suicide:

Stay hopeful and give yourself the time you need to restore
Promise yourself not to do anything ‘right now’. Follow the 24 hours delay-in-response rule
If you have been prescribed medicines, continue taking them as directed for restoring certain internal physiological balance seek help of suicide prevention counselling
Give your medicines to someone who can return them to you one day at a time as per the dosage to avoid overdose
Avoid consumption of drugs or alcohol
Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms
Don’t go through it alone
Have a strong support system or one or two trusted individuals who you can turn to at any point and contact them when in need by suicide prevention center
If your support system is unavailable or unable to support, contact a Helpline number
Talking about how you got to this point in your life can release a lot of the pressure that’s building up and help you find a way to cope
Reach out for professional help and talk to a suicide prevention therapist (mental health
professional) who can guide you to understand and better deal with these emotions and situations
Engage in mindfulness, meditation and relaxation techniques to gain a control over your bodily reactions and emotions
Focus on your breathing and perform some grounding techniques in the moment to clarify your mind and refocus
No matter how negative your thoughts are, reassure yourself that they are momentary and temporary and that they will be fixed and you will be okay sooner or later
Tell yourself that this is just a phase, and that these issues are not going to matter in the next 5 years
Going through something so difficult produces inexplicable pain to an individual. It’s often said that attempt to suicide is not to end the life, but rather to end the pain the person is going through. It’s extremely important to extend our support and empathy if we know anyone personally going through this difficult situation or help them gain the correct guidance to fight these hard situations by providing them support in a healthy manner and build resilience against the same.


One thing you are grateful for today? 

Gratitude

Hey guys I really want your opinions on my prblm.... actually I really got attached to this guy and due to some commitment issues from his end we aren't talking to each other, but I really miss him
During this all struggle one of my closest friend added him and now she's talking to him even though she knows that I've something towards him she started talking to him
Please advice me what should I do on this prblm??? 

3am Thoughts

Life sucks 

Anxiety

Hey ,
So umm , i cheated on my girlfriend (ik i am CHEAP)), i dint really love her , i was kind of sexually attracted to her , we started dating , we dint have sex and all but we kissed a lot , like a lottttttttttttttt , she just wanted to hug me but i wanted to kiss her . i knew she really really loved me , i just acted as if i loved her ... then after a few months i started feeling guilty about it i couldn't kiss her anymore , i was kind of ignoring her now , she cried and all , i din't want her to suffer more so i just broke up with her (i dont know if that is called cheating ) , i just keep feeling guilty about it .
(this is what happen while we were dating)
 1) she felt i was cheating on her with another girl(lets call her ABC) , i was pretty close to ABC we used to come in the same bus and we used to sit together , few ppl in the bus felt that i was cheating on my girlfriend with ABC ,so they went to my girlfriend and told her we were touchy and all in the bus , they i had a small argument with my girlfriend , i dint want her to feel bad so i just stopped talking to her,(i know that was wrong) , after a month or two i felt what i am doing is not right , i mean i can't stop talking to someone just like that and ABC trusted me more than anyone else and i just stopped talking to her i felt really really bad , so i started talking to her again , she ignored me and scolded me in the starting but after a few weeks everything was normal , and the my girlfriend got to know that i am talking to her again , we had many fights regarding that .
2) i have a best friend (lets call her XYZ)
i am super close to XYZ , my girlfriend dint have any problem about her , but XYZ din't like my girlfriend , she felt XYZ isn't correct for me (she dint know that i was just using my girlfriend)
so XYZ tried to separate us but she couldn't , she used to argue a lot with my girlfriend (XYZ din't really have and personal thing , she just wanted me to be happy , she felt that my girlfriend was a bad influence on me) .
3) i dint give her a lot of importance like most of the times i was with my friends and avoided her as much as possible in the campus , our college management dint like boys and girls being together and they are completely against relationships , so i could spend time with her in college , she was brave she tried to talk to me i just ignored her cause i was fucking scared of being expelled . 

i know ppl are not really going to like me after reading this and that is completely okay 

**i just wanted to confess** 


Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts