I'm tired, trying to pretend I'm strong but I can't and I'm not, I dated this girl on a long distance relationship for 7 months, we were supposed to meet, but she woke up one morning and called it off, just one month before her visit, it was going to be our first meeting after dating, we've met before but we weren't dating back then, I planned it all, I called my family members, friends and everyone I know to come and meet her, but I guess I don't worth it, really tired.

3am Thoughts

So last night i was frustrated a lot and upset a lot. I was sad and was not feeling good. My partner fell asleep. After that Till 3 am i was awake. I updated some sad status On watsapp and Songs Today mornjng she didnt even reacted to any and asked me Whats wrong. She is behaving as if nothing has happened.

Life

Why is this girl still trying to talk to me even though I make it obvious that i don't want to interact with her anymore. I mean we had a fallout she was being way too emotional and clingy and i didn't want to carry anyone's emotional baggage so i told her to cut off contact with me and to never call or text me again. The audacity to even try to make a small talk baffles me and we were not even a thing just friends. She practically begged me to have her on social media platform so i let her but i made it clear to never call or text me unnecessarily. 

Friends

I'm struggling, broke up with my 3 months ago now and i was starting to believe i was getting there but for some reason this past week i can't seem to shake the thought of her. I've come back to uni to the place where we had all our memories and i thought it would heal me. If anything I feel even more disconnected from the world. I just miss the friendship we had we were so close and it went so quickly and i was left alone to pick up the pieces. I'm just at a bit of a loss really. 

Breakup

I treated her as a queen, loved her as a child. My 7 years relationship came to an end, she left and moved with some other guy. I’m not in my state of mind 🙃

So i dont know should i continue this or end this. This person whom i know since 3 months we had an urguement today. She is like i have to focus on my career and I cant talk to You Whole day You have to understand and all... But further she is like lets end this You wont understand and All   Today Whole Day she didnt texted me. Called me just an hourr before and talked as if she is forced to talk to Me. I dont know what should i do. Should I hang on or Just move on. Her words have hurted me badly and I have felt bad.  she doesnt care i think and her behaviour changes sometimes.



Confusion

I am done with this... Me and My partner had an urguement yesterday Now everytime something happens she makes a Big story out of it and she is like We need a break we need to think... I mean what am i... Then after some days she comes back acts okay and Says she loves me then something happens She does the same. Every Relationship Has problems and Things. I DONT KNOW what ahould i do. Its  hurts me too.

Frustration

Why I'm so stupid ??
I always give more to the persons for whom I'm concerned but in repay I always got nil .like I'm not good at this friendship kind thing but I had bestf what I call them one was girl other is guy so this girl she and I use to talk alot basically it was only me coz I shared more things I helped her alot then after that one incident happened it was related something 2019 came out in 2021 just before 3 4 days of my bday she reacted so badly which I can understand yep I was wrong but it wasn't that much that it will define our friendship like I thought we r more than that but I was wrong she texted me I confessed I said sorry I said we'll talk on call but in the mean while she blocked me From every place and even told me that I'm not saga (real) to anyone that was the worst thing coz she judged our friendship on the basis of past event not on the the events that happened recently and we stopped talking but the thing is now after 5  months she is trying to approach me today she texted me wid unknown number I blocked her From there too but I can't understand y I'm like this in my mind that I should unblock her ask her and this is not in this case only my male bestf he also suddenly stopped talking to me one day for no reason I asked him continuously 3 days let's meet he gave bullshit reasons like I'm busy and all but even after that I asked him keeping my self respect aside like I called him thrice times not only on random he sees my text but don't replies and don't do call backs too but in my heart somewhere if he texts me I would be running back to him ig I'm losing all I'm self respect since back 2 years I have been like this I changed my attitude from when my college started I tried to be more concerned caring friendly but what I received back all fakeness . 
Ik there's not any coherence in my above msg but believe me no one's concerned ABT u other than ur parents

So I've been into this girl, she even told me once how she always wants me to be around but I don't really wanna be friendzoned by her because yeah that sucks because she knows I like her and even she confessed how she got attracted to me, but now when I wanna be with her, she's been really avoiding me, replying me late. 
I tried to detach from her for a month or so now but then yesterday, it was her birthday and I texted wishing her happy birthday and then we talked when she again told me how badly she misses me. 
All in all, she's been giving mixed signals on one hand and then on the other hand, she doesn't even wanna get together and I can't really afford being friendzoned by her.
At this point, I don't know what to do.

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