I’m tired (physically and emotionally) and broke and stressed. I work three jobs just to get by and whenever i need to vent these emotions, to my family or my fiancé i end up hurting someone or saying something I’ll regret.
I’m tired of living pay check to pay check, but i feel like I’ll never get out. Sometimes i feel like its my fault and i worry that one day People will get just as tired of the stress as i am and I’ll be alone and broke. I already feel i need to be careful with expressing how i feel because i often get angry and say the wrong thing when i do. I’m not suicidal, I fear the Lord too much that. However i do feel useless and cursed at times. I’m not even sure what this site is, I’m at my 3rd job I’m the overnight shift and I’ve barely slept the last two days. I guess i just wanted to yell (type) into the void, for a few seconds before i get back to work. Sorry for any typos, i don’t really have the Time or motivation to look over it
Man i can’t even seem to find the right tag on this site that fits what I’m posting :/ i did the best i could with the options they had
Really sorry to hear this. I’m sure this must be painful to go over the same frustrations day in-out. You have to be strong. Plus the only ways to get out of any mess is take one extra step. If you’re tired of living pay-cheque to pay-cheque, is it possible for you to upskill…do you have some savings on which you can survive while you go through an skill enhancement or course. There are lots of free courses available. What are those things you’re good at in life. You have to make some changes since change is the only thing that can get you out of any mess.
One way to feeling okay with your suffering is to recontextualize your present situation. If you see your situation as a condition of life to become comfortable with, you will find anything else easy.
Have you noticed in your past situations, things seemed to have worked out and you came out of it with a learning experience. That is it. Look at life as an opportunity for learning and not as a means for gain.
You may still be learning something from your situation. It could also be showing you what doesn’t work for you and is waiting for you to leave that.
If you intend for something better then you need to prepare for it as well. Birds prepare the nest beforehand and still keep building after they have had the eggs and the birds have hatched.
What is your goal for yourself? What is your meaning in life? What do you aspire to become? Why are you working 3 jobs? Can’t you expenses be reduced or you can’t relocate? What’s stopping you?
Don’t fear the Lord. Our limited self(The Ego) is afraid of eternal damnation because it doesn’t understand this illusion(concept we create). God is not the judgemental figurehead we know due to dogma. God is Love and Peace and wishes that for everyone. Because everything is God. All is God. Let go of the pleasures you may get out of victim hood and being the judge of suffering. That is a start.
Thank you for sharing. You are brave for sharing this and I have respect for you for going through the ordeal of 3 jobs and your life situation. This too shall pass.
Does this make sense to you?
Have a great day :)
