I’m sad today… I wasn’t like that at the beginning of the day…I’m a student and my English teacher gave us this exercise, that we should list our some emotional abstract nouns we knew…I instantly wrote “fear” without thinking much of it… He then processed to tell us that whatever we wrote down is what’s actually happening to us in our lives right now… and yeah as you can guess I’m afraid…I’m afraid of a lot of things…I’m afraid of failing…I’m afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone…I’m afraid of talking in groups (real and virtual) because my mind tell me my opinion is too stupid and meaningless…I’m afraid of talking about how I feel because sometimes I believe I don’t have the right to feel that way because many other’s wouldn’t feel that way…I’m afraid God hates me…I’m so afraid that I go deep into myself and stay there to avoid the repercussions of actions…
Funny enough,when I was little, I never tht like that…I don’t think I had a care in the world back then…I wish I could go back there…but high school came…I met people who stood out more…had more friends…spoke up more…I couldn’t compete with that…so I became the quiet kid…who people only remembered because they needed someone to draw for them…
Gosh I’m pitiful…I hate me sometimes…I don’t even have anyone to talk to about the things…I’m going to cry now… thank you if you read this till the end. I’m sorry for wasting your time.
You’re not pitiful. You are scared. And that’s OK. You didn’t waste my time, I’m grateful for the chance to help you feel better. Take deep breaths, alright? Everything will be fine. This world can be pretty hard to live in, but you need to keep going and do the best you can, no matter what that looks like. And you can always talk to me :)
ik how u feel, always comparing urself to others and thinking they are better than you. It makes you feel worthless like your not cool enough, interesting enough, good enough compared to them. I wish i could tell u how to deal with it but i dont, im going thru the same thing. But if you wanna talk about it you can, no judgement. we can both share what were feeling because i really need that to.
