I'm sad- I'm so confused on what's going on- why am I called a fury because I'm bi..? Why do people hate me so much..? Why do I have to be so different and insecure and why do I have an F in every class and my whole class just gets straight A's-

I do- but no matter how hard I try I cant- 

I'm trans- kinda..I haven't come out to my parents yet- 

I'm a man in my mind- I dont look like a Male tho-

Failure

When I thought things were going well, everything started going downhill. 

3am Thoughts

Want a rest...not as sleeping...but from the rush and race in the life....where nobody knows me...and I can be myself...no fear to be judged... just completely myself.

Sea never gives you second chance,
Cause first one can be deadly. 

#navylife #firstpost

Long Distance Relationship

I have a very bad past most traumatic.. I left my home  bcz after my father passed away my mom hated me she does the worst things as if  i stayed there they would kill me .. I'm now  alone working with my brother both f us are alone in a place .. I don't feel actually I dont believe in people , so called freinds ,marriages or any kind of relationship 
But daily working dealing with toxic ppl I m loosing .. I feel why m living why im suffering I don't deserve ol dis ppl treat u shit here nobody cares u r dying actually own ppl only backstabb u how can u deal with strangers  .. n I'm jus tired of hiding .. sometime I feel I get panic attack I get easily scared I get fully sweaty I still get nightmares , my heart beat jus run faster  I can't breathe coz f that .. daily gradually I'm loosing my hop   ppl makes fun of me coz I get scared easily while hearing small sound also . It's been 1 year n I'm still facing all this without anyone .. I  wished I could be happy again .

Emotional Abuse

you make me feel nothing!!!!💔

Disorders

Is it too hard to believe someone who is screaming in pain?

I feel like I'm slowly losing the battle, i think I'm really a bad person. I feel bad for the people who know me. I'm not able to handle stress anymore. I tried my best to pretend but seems like i can't anymore. I feel like an anxious coward, trust me this world doesn't need people like me who are burden. I think I'm selfish for always making people worried whenever i talk. I don't deserve good things since I'm just an ungrateful bastard because i know other people have it worse, i still have many privileges like having food to eat, roof over my head etc but here i am still crying over the situation. I feel like if I'm gone then everyone will be happy or atleast they'll have less shit to deal with. 
I know I've chosen this situation myself of dropping and many will call me crazy for that, that's the reason i feel guilty for talking to even my friends because I'm no good. I feel like running in an endless tunnel which has spark of light somewhere in between but after that it gets even more darker. 
When it comes to help others i always get this shot of energy out of nowhere but when it comes on me, i can't help myself. It's much difficult for me to ask for help, it makes me feel like I'm weak, beacuse I'm the one who should give my shoulder to others to lean on but i can't be a burden to others, i can't make them worried others I'll feel more guilty and it will be difficult for me to forgive myself. Asking for help is that difficult that I'd rather die of stress and anxiety rather then saying that i need help.
I am scared of thinking about what future holds for me, people say change is necessary for growth but for me change is like some trigger to rapidly boost my anxiety which is difficult to handle. I feel like an attention seeker saying all this, and I'll even second guess my life's decision for a whole day or two after typing this. 
I'm scared of people knowing me, and that's the reason i push them away. I feel like no one will believe me, and that's understandable cause i wouldn't believe me either. 
I'm scared because maybe I'm starting to feel like my life depends on this mere exam now, even though I'm getting good score but it's kind of becoming a battle of life and death and I'm fighting to live. And that shouldn't happen because that would be toxic.
I feel like i will always hurt others around me, so this is better if i don't talk to anyone and maybe they'll think I'm rude and egoistic and eventually start hating me but maybe that way they'll be saved.
I feel like things will never get better, i hate getting anxious on the things which others handle easily.
I hate myself. I wish i didn't.


Anxiety

So this is my first being here! I’m tired of life, everytime I do something for someone, it is not enough. I’m having self doubt, and I’m feeling like that I’m not good enough for anyone. Idk how to take these things out of my mind. I have anxiety and depression and I don’t want to control it, I want to let go. The world has been so cruel to me including my dad and my ex.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts