Home / Thoughts / I’m really stressed. I’ve been in a relationship ...

I’m really stressed. I’ve been in a relationship with a guy now for 3 years but I feel like I’ve been lying to myself. ever since I’ve been young I’ve always been attracted to girls (I’m female) and I know it deep down it’s just I didn’t want to accept it I guess. I really care for this guy too and i don’t want to hurt him because I know he genuinely loves me it’s just I don’t know if I can love him back. I really don’t know what to do anymore.


Dear User, for your own safety, we urge you to NOT share any personal information [email, phone number, social media handles, address etc.] with other Now&Me users.

Post anonymously?

See, if you don’t feel anything for him just tell him that,

Sit down and have a talk with him
And you have to be blunt and real
And yes it will hurt but it is for the best


Okay. I have been there. Talk to me.


How did you deal with the situation?


It’s what everyone else is saying. You should confront him . There was a couple i have heard of and they were married. But the lady still felt incomplete. That lady loved him a lot as a best friend and acted how the hetero society wants and married him. But then she realised that she doesn’t love him thay way. She felt incomplete being with him.
So she confronted him . Calmly. Made him understand everything. Now she has her female partner and Her ex husband still supports her.
Moral is. If you know that you don’t love him in that way. And you still pretending that you are then this is kind of betrayal if you stay quiet about it.
You should tell him. He will understand eventually. He loves you. You have to respect that. Okay.
Tell me if you have other questions


I feel so horrible tho. Him and his family have done so much for me and I guess I just feel guilty.


It’s okayy. It wasn’t your fault. You aren’t doing anything wrong. You can’t stay in that relationship just because you think they did a lot for you.
I’m sure. You did a lot for them too. But it’s okay. It happens. I’m proud of you that you decided to do something about it. As you should. Everything is going to be just alright don’t worry


the only way you are going to hurt him is by lying to yourself, break up with him in a good way, and be yourself, he will get past it and find someone who loves him and you find your match and be happy with whoever. he may be hurt but dont feel sad if you dont like him that way anymore he should know, if you stay with him you are lying to yourself and him. break up he will get over it, and you will find someone you makes you feel happy .


Alright! I am happy you came out to yourself before it was too late.

1. Have an upfront, clear communication with him and you really need to express how you feel and keep the conversation 100% real.
2. I understand he is important part of your life and if he really really loves you and cares about you he will understand eventually but not immediately.
3. You are not alone in this situation so don’t blame it on you in the end. We all take time to be our true self !
4. Have patience while having a conversation with anyone about you coming out because it is a never ending process. Coming out is like a long journey you have to travel which have a bumpy ride on the way.
5. Not everyone around you will understand the situation and judge you, so please don’t take that personally and move on with your life because you know who are.

I hope this helps because you can’t keep lying to yourself each day about your feelings and you might hurt others and yourself in the process if you continue to live a life where you can’t be yourself. (100% you)