i’m not really one to cry about things in my life, never have been. but i recently had two break downs. i have a group of 3 friends, all of them are show stopping, very much the beauty standard. as of late i’ve just been embarrassed because they’ve acknowledged that im not as slim or stunning as them, not in a harsh way but rather i know that they are aware. we were messing around, talking about creating the “perfect person” from the features of us 4. i thought we would stop at just the face but they went all the way to toes. the only feature they took from me was my nose. i think this instance further bruised what was already hurt from our prom photos we took recently. i’m normally the photographer of the group, but since this was a special occasion, they took pictures of me. i couldn’t believe how awful i looked. All of them said i looked great, but it just made me more embarrassed, thinking if they said i looked good there, how horrible must i look normally? After both occasions i bawled once i was alone in my home. i’ve become way more confident the past year, so with this downfall i’m not sure how to handle how im feeling right now and i have no one in my life i feel comfortable telling this to. im not sure what i want to hear or if I want to hear anything. i just feel trapped with not outlet.
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