I'm not feeling good. Just not. Anxiety is at peak. It is imp I keep myself together cz I don't wanna be vulnerable but the more I decide it the more I'm losing the grip on me. It's like I don't have to think about monkey n monkey is all that comes to my mind😂
I mean i really don't wanna share n be emotional and my anxiety is killing me. 

Meko nhi hona yrr vulnerable unke samne abhi. I'm done dragging these relationships on the basis of my tragedies. Since I stopped doing our friendship took a fall. They need to catch up now if they wanna save this. Friendships are a two way street right. And I have been more than vulnerable to them, trusted them included them in my personal life. N they hide even the obvious things. I'm done. And I've decided not anymore. Just I've been vulnerable n meeting after first lockdown so uk I'm anxious I don't want to breakdown in front of them. Idk how I'm gonna carry this 

yea so tell me is my decision wrong about this? And honestly they dont think ill of me they do genuinely care about me but the friendship will go ahead mutually now. I am not gonna take the burden to keep the intimacy alive. I wonder sometimes, do they realise, do they know or they are unaware or they just ignoring like jaisa chal raha h waisa chalne de. idk and idc I am clear on my position now and im begging myself to keep it together to not blurt things out cz of habit. its making me anxious im crying. godd!!

trying...just having that sinking feeling in stomach! 

Yes I'm doing that, I just don't wanna talk abt it to them but they know almost everything yet I wanna keep things myself. I hope I don't spoil this. I'll be really angry on myself and ashamed if I say things I don't wanna say 

Its okay...
Hope things will be okay soon

Hey..
U should come here and talk about it..
Maybe you'll get dome ways to deal with it. 

Anxiety

Usko sirf baatein karni thi, 
Hum mohabbat kar baithe ❤️

3am Thoughts

Today was really stressing for me. I usually stay at home and ft my girlfriend alot but today she was acting really weird like she was matching pfp with someone but it was like one where they are making a heart. It's stupid but I just don't know I mean she has been busy more here and there but it usually still says shes active. I'm scared that she lost feelings for me or if maybe she's cheating on me.

Relationships

Are there guys who don't keep intimacy as priority and want commitment and a loving relationship with a supportive, genuine, understanding and a average looking girl tired of fuck boys and commitment freaks. Guys who know real love put in the efforts don't give me their whole time they may have their own life but just be there when I need them may it be the stupidest thing in short stand by me for the longest do such guys exist slow love types ?

Love

Heyy!! 
Just wanted to vent out something bothering me for long... 
My friends... They are good, really helpful and care about me... 
But they sometimes, most of the time don't know when they end out hurting me... 
I have different ideologies and experiences than them, isn't it normal? People are different... But whenever I put forth my ideology, instead of giving it a thought they try opposing it by there ideology, and that okay , but the way they do that... I don't like it... Iam okay with their opinion but whenever I say I think this way, or keeps on arguing my opinion, they seem to get annoyed, and either starts laughing or leave the room... 
Even when I have to share something from my experience, something that usually happens with me, and if that doesn't match their experience or if that doesn't make sense to them, they just ignore it by laughing and saying she always say stupid things and never stops Arguing... 


Why would I stop?? I believe iam right... Cause i have experienced it... 
And sometimes I get so annoyed that I google if I made  any sense, and if  I find something relatable or justifying , I forward that to them... 
Instead of accepting I was right Or they were wrong they just say, she always has to prove her point... 
They do consider my perspective, when atleast one person from the grp says that happened with her too... That time all of that makes sense to them.. 

Recent times, this happens everyday... And iam really pissed... Sometimes I feel that I should say how I feel to all of them, but then again they are my friends and college is about to end in 2 months... 🙃🙃
What should I do to make myself calm... I don't like all of this... And if I say I felt bad, they be like, why, we didn't say anything ... I just want them to understand that iam not a fool and I have a different perspective... 

If I react iam rude... 

Frustration

you held my hand when I was walking 
towards the verge of death
your shining Armour shed light on 
my dark scars, those which were hidden 
under the veil of my bright and cheerful face,
your magical touch perforated through my skin to heal all those scars from my dark past. 
your gentle emerald aura never failed to brighten up my day.
your heavenly voice felt like those rain drops singing with a melody.
your alluring smile never fails to cheer me up.
and your amranthine love always keeps me in its embrace of memories and those special moments. 



I am alone in my life

chahe dosti ho ya relationship i would never want to be that third person who comes in between 2 people and weakens their already existing bond !! 

Do you really believe i was cheating on you ?


Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts