I’m in a relationship since last 3-4 years. Initially it was like I was unhappy with my current place and situation so just wanted him to help me drag myself out of that space. We are more like friends than girlfriend & boyfriend. I had a very tough childhood, plus adulthood, I had to go through so much grilling in past simply because I was too naïve. Nobody spared me, no one understood me, they still don’t. My boyfriend keeps telling me that I need to behave a certain way, talk in a certain manner, keeps bringing out the worst kinda possible childhood memory of that feeling when you don’t affectionate parents. My boyfriend is a good guy, he is also dealing with his own issues. It’s just that I don’t feel like being with him anymore, I don’t feel like staying with anyone. Are my feelings justified? I always wanted to have someone like me, someone who is thoughtful, someone who understands empathy, tries to make the other person smile or make their day a little better by just showing up. He is talking about marrying me and he is serious, but I don’t want him, not because I don’t love him, but simply that am tired and don’t feel loved by anyone. I feel this huge burden on my shoulder and all I want it to do is kill me. On one hand I want to do so many things, like travel, go for further studies, fall in love with someone and really feel it. but on other hand I’m in this relationship where I have stayed for too long and don’t want to redo things again from scratch. At a age of 31, mentally I’m still in my initial 20’s but physically my body is ticking… I’m so lost!!
#helpme #mentalhealth #don’tknowwhattodo
Looks like your relationship is at a dead end. It’s no point in carrying forward this relationship. The more you carry it forward the more toxic it will become. If you don’t love that person its time to move on. Let that person also go. It will be a little bit hard for a while but after that things will improve for both of you. You go find someone else someone new who loves you the way you are and in the way you want. You should definitely travel and explore new places, cities countries. People exit 20+ years marriage of the same reason. Yours is just a few years in relationship. Spark is left now only ashes remain. So move on. Find something someone new. World had endless possibilities and you are the sunshine.
I don’t know maybe it’s all just me doing and thinking! Overthinking is my second best hobby
Deleted @anxius_mizlost
That is what everyone in a abusive relationship says to themselves after a point. This is wrong.
Deleted @anxius_mizlost
You are justified.
You don’t need to suffer. You don’t need to cater to his issues.
I’ve done the same for past 5 years in this relationship and about wasted 20 years of my life doing this for people who weren’t for me and i wasn’t for them.
So don’t waste anytime, any energy. Don’t waste yourself over this.
Take your time. Recollect yourself and break it off. Take time alone. Take a good 1 year alone to atleast heal. Just don’t get into any relationships and also please visit Doctor Ramini’s channel on YouTube she might have all the information you’re looking for. I’m also educating myself so here’s some self applied advice. Take care of YOU. I still and trying to learn that but start now pls, because the later you do so the more regret and healing you’ll have/ to do.
Take care of yourself my friend. I’m sorry I couldn’t read past how he wants you to be, it just activated my own triggers. My person does the same and it took me sooooo sooo long after 3-4 partners to realise what the fuck was happening. Please don’t wait so long. Take ur life back and let him have his. Just be there for yourself. It’s time to give yourself the love you give you.
My best wishes and support to you. It’s not going to be easy but your not worth giving up to someone else’s idea of you.
If you’d like to chat, I come here now & again (not too often, i try not to ) but whenever I’ll be here, I’ll get back to you asap. Just keep going. Congratulations on reaching here honestly, it’s time to validate and take care of yourself.
Stay safe 🌼💖
Thank you!
Hey, How are you doing now? and How is life in large?
