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I’m having this weird identity crisis right now, maybe someone can help?

I realized I was bi about 2 months ago, and haven’t told anyone. So everything I’ve thought about me being bi, everything I’ve read online about it, every show or movie with a bi character - has been on my own, by myself.

So it’s starting to feel like I’m living two different lives-my normal one, where until recently I just accepted I was straight, because (like almost everyone else) it was what I was conditioned to believe, because up until you tell them or they have a lot of reason to think otherwise, everyone just assumes you’re straight, and when I’m alone, where I know that I am bi, accept myself, listen to the music and watch the shows I want, without feeling embarrassed or awkward, and don’t feel any pressure.

Because of the pandemic, I don’t really have any close friends I could tell anything to, and while I know my family would be ok with it, I’ve always been more of a private person, and I want to have had a same-sex partner before I tell my parents, so I can feel more secure and confident about it.

But since when I am with other people, I fall back into my old normal, and for a split second I forget about being bi, and that is really making me feel insecure.

So this split second is making me question myself. It’s making me think it’s just a phase, maybe I’m just trying to be something I’m not, and then I think what if I’m trying to force myself to be bi, and all of this is making me nervous, scared that I will convince myself I’m not bisexual and lose this amazing thing about me that I love(most of the time).

Does every queer person go through this, or do they just know? I want to tell someone in my life, so it will be something solid, and not just something in my head I can convince myself in bad moments is a wish, or fantasy, or a lie, but I don’t have anyone I feel comfortable telling. I’m hoping to find someone when I start high school, but that’s not for a few months, and it will probably be another few months before I trust them enough to come out to them, and I’m scared I will convince myself that it’s not real because I haven’t shared it with anyone by then.

Post anonymously?

hey! as a lesbian i understand exactly what you’re going through. you should feel no pressure to come out to anyone, especially if you’re not sure you’ve figured it out yourself yet!! no one has a right to know your sexuality, it is privileged information you choose to tell them if/when you choose a label - which you don’t have to! don’t panic, everything is normal. we have all been there. i recommend just going with the flow, not looking for anything and seeing if anyone of any gender attracts you! hope this helps x

Overthinker? Bi? I feel you dude/dudette/non-gendered-dude. Sometimes I think, am I forcing myself to like girls as well as guys, is it just a phase etc. It’s hard, but you gotta be you. I waited a year and a bit before I came out to my parents, and I didn’t have either a girlfriend or boyfriend. I guess everyone goes through this. I have, still sometimes do. My lesbian friend thought she was bi for a while and questioned if she was forcing herself to like guys (answer was yes). The only advice i have for you is stay true to your heart, because it can be annoying, it doesn’t lie. Also, check out the short film “In a Heart-beat” it really helped me <3


I just watched “In a Heartbeat,” and I’ve never seen anything like it! I loved how there is the beautiful but simplistic story, but so many deeper meanings that can be interpreted different ways. As for your advice, you’re right. I have been pushing myself to (romantically) like everyone of the same gender, in an effort to convince myself I really am bi, but realize now that I’m not attracted to everyone of the opposite sex, so why am I trying to force myself to have unrealistic expectations for myself? It’s a delicate balance being bi, but your advice (and hours of listening to music) have made me feel a lot better and more in control of it. Thank you!

I’m really happy I could help you!! :D


Why is it that I found out I was bi two months ago too ; - ; like November or October- ish