I’m feeling so frustrated from so many days, I remember the happy and positive person I used to be. It sucks to remember that.
I’ve some issues,
First of all, just because I am at home, I’m not studying at all, I’m not able to study at all. And b4 lockdown I used to go to library, where I used to study for more than 7 hours and I was content with everything happening in my life.
The amount of study I do is directly proportional
to me being normal and content with life. But I’m not able to do it, as I’m at home, and here are several distractions like noises coming from everywhere, from behind the house, of tv, of utensils, of family members talking, and everything gets heard easily in my room and my focus just wanders here and there!
Also I get irritated easily as I’m at home, my younger brother annoys me a lot, and I find myself irritated in the very next second.
Also I have a boyfriend, we were growing in this relationship before this lockdown, but now, it seems like I keep on finding faults in the small things he does, I get frustrated and make him frustrated too. I seem to have spoiled this very beautiful and understanding relationship. He’s a such a caring, loving fellow. And I tend to make him mad now. I feel like I’m very unlovable, I’ve been so rude and mean to him so many times but he’s been the same, loving, caring and understanding, tht makes me feel like I’m very unlovable, how can somebody love me so much. I get self sabotaging thoughts.
I don’t know from where to start this self love journey again. Also my parents have very high expectations from me, that makes me feel more guilty as to what I’m doing right now and what I must be doing right now.
My main concerns are my studies, boyfriend, and self sabotage.
I don’t want to loose myself in the process.
I need guidance.
Hope to see a ray of light in this darkness.
I pretend to be happy from the outside.
Or maybe the problem is just too small and I’m making it look so big.
I don’t know what to do.
Please help me!!!
Please!!!
Hey, I am going through almost same thing. I used to live abroad alone and I was kinda happy, doing my own thing. But I had to come back mid covid because i lost my job but found another work from home job from India. I was happy coming back too because my bf was in India. Now since I’ve come back everything seems falling apart. I am unhappy at home because the way I used to live and my freedom has gone. At this time the family business is not going so well and I have to contribute large chunks of the earning at home and in the business and no savings. On top of that I am studying for UPSC. Which needs a lot of time and devotion. However the problems in the family has made everyone aggressive, including me. I am rude to everyone all the time and all i ask people is to leave me alone and let me be. My father was crying yesterday after drinking saying that he invested so much in me and he has failed because now that I’m contributing at home I am so full of myself. This led to a huge fight. I can feel the differences in opinion of my family and me. My father continuously points out how he has wasted money on me even though I earn in Euros in India during covid.
About my relationship, my bf is 10 years older than me. He is a positive person, does have problems at home too but is positive. His parents have recently rejected me without meeting me and this has caused us to break up. We still talk and I still take out my anger developing from the situation at home towards him.
I guess the moral would be to know that once in a while we all have that time when we want to be left alone because everything is falling apart and we want a better phase to come. We want to be understood but also not. I think such a situation only needs more alone time so you can understand your feelings and your family’s and boyfriends too by yourself. It is all a learning experience. But if you’re not able to talk to them without being irritated maybe let them know that you’re not feeling so fine and you’ll be back.
Same here girl but I am in a long distance for more than a year now.
You are kind ❤.
niti agti @aragni
First and foremost. Hugs… Second sit and calm down. Think. Do I really want this. No of course. See we are used to do things certain ways and right now whole world is upside down. Find smiles in small things. Start accepting the things as they are. Coz this bad time is still going to go for few more days. And u are a bright lovable and smart person… yeahhh!!! Figure out ways to be happy. Make him happy and in return u will be. Haina… ask ur family to support. In a very subtle manner. Specially ur brother. Talk to him . Communication never fails u.
U can do this. Be kind and have courage.
💛💛💛The world needs more people like you.
I am in the same boat as yours. Stressed and depressed. Let’s all make a group chat or something and vent out all our emotions together.
Girl, believe me don’t vent out your anger on your boyfriend because I did the same. He loves you and this is the reason why he’s still there for you. Try to find happiness in him, I am sure he’ll always cheer you up and find ways to make you feel happy. Every ounce of patience will have a worth and it’ll make you the happiest in the future. Also, try to take his advice as he’ll help you out in sorting your life. I had toxic friends who used to stoop down my morale, he helps me getting rid of them as well. He tries everything to make me a better person. I am in the same situation so can relate, trust me he’s the only reason behind your happiness right now. Please do not fight with your parents as well because they are trying their best to keep you happy and they are also pretty helpless right now.
Be happy that you have a brother because I don’t have a sibling and feel so lonely in this lockdown.
Thank you so much!!!
You are too kind❣.
